It's been twenty long years
Puppet to entertain
Stepping back from it now
I'm in awe; Can't explain
Like that saying is said
Definition: insane
To repeat the same actions
Expect not the same
Final outcome, results
Thinking somehow they'll change
Foolishly I'd go back
And would replay our game
Said each time it's the last
I'm done feeling this pain
Once the moment has passed
My conviction will fade

I am stuck in the past
History here to stay
If unknown will relapse
Help me tie off a vein
It all happens so fast
Find myself in a grave
As I'm dying, you laugh
Your messed up and depraved
But the buck I can't pass
I'm the one who's to blame
'Cause the actions I act
Full control I contain
Simply get what is asked
Have no right to complain
Can no longer react
Must take hold of the reigns

If I can't make a path
Set the forest ablaze
Leaving nothing but ash
Flatten over and pave
Stop this ride or I'll crash
Can no longer sustain
My permission not asked
But that all ends today
A court jester for laughs
No more; I will not play
Jump to first; Had been last
Discontinued the race
Hoisted sail on the mast
Moving forward with faith
Don't let door hit your ***
Time you be on your way

I have been waiting for that bus that will take me rides away, from this town drenched in all the depressing shades of blue. Maybe I can reach the point where I’ll look at the rearview mirror, and no longer feel sorry for my younger self and all the hurting she did alone. Maybe I can finally disentangle myself from all forms of sadness I slept with. Maybe I can take the trip with the longest ride and make it out of here.

But I’m still stuck in the same old station, along with other runaways. And it’s getting late. It’s getting late.

chained around the wrist,
bound with thoughts and regrets
you can't break them without breaking yourself.

there's no escape for you.

a light flickering in the corner of the dark cell,
a shadow appears in the doorway.

"Time", they say

"Time?", you ask, "how is time going to help me?"

sure enough, as the days pass, the flicker turns into an intense flame.
the whole room, illuminated with light.
the chains slowly deteriorate, until nothing is left besides
the clanging of metal within your mind.

you're free.

you stand up to move, but you're frozen.
your hands aren't bound but they're still stuck together like two lovers refusing to even coming up for air.

"why can't i move?" you whisper softly,
the shadow speaks one last time, "only you can decide when you're ready."

im stuck in
this never ending
loop. this cycle
of go to work,
come home, go
to bed, repeat.
i can’t live the
rest of my life
like this.
life is like a
bad song stuck
on repeat.

Do you ever feel like you are stuck?
It hits me at a friends house at 3 am when all I want to do is sleep but it’s so ******* hot and my mind is running. No one is awake and all you want to do is run, run away from all my problems or run towards more problems. But I  just sit there stuck because either way there are problems. Why is he still my comfort, why does he make me smile. Why aren’t these the same guy. Why the hell can I not be happy? Why can’t I do this? I feel like I am always at check and just waiting to hear checkmate but it never comes. Every day is different but I feel the same way.