It’s hard to tell
To trust my mind
Or my heart

I’m tired of falling apart.

So instead i’m spinning in circles
Waiting and waiting
for the change to happen

I have tears in my eyes
And I don’t know why

It’s how i feel inside.
It’s how i go to hide
when i really want to shine.
It’s how i  turn shy
when i want to sing,
because i’m scared of what the others would think..

All i want to do is live
But I’m stuck behind a cage.
And I’ve trapped myself,
Now all I want is out of this personal hell.

I don’t want to fade.

It’s how my mother died,
It’s how my father disappeared
And now he hides

He’s a coward.
But i guess so am I.

Now i’m here, to face life alone
Until our Creator
Calls me at the higher throne.

I hope i at least find love in this lifetime.
Or at least
myself
-k.c.

the lull of early morning
the blow of my noisy fan
cast me towards sleep

go to bed
dear
go to sleep and
dream
for just a bit

the world may not pause
while you're away
but you won't miss a clause
of yours

six hours of sleep
enough to make me yawn
but not put me too deep
in exhaustion as if I woke at dawn

Sometimes,
Sometimes I just don't know
Buried my hands in my face,
Breathing in a rhythmic flow.
Kicking my heels to go home
But Kansas was a place i did not go.
Can't speak without defensive joke.
You've been looking at a personality
But in reality, you've just seen smoke
Don't choke on the vapor or you'll vaporize
The main disguise I hide behind.
Behind the eyes that calmly sigh
My mind is cranking into overdrive.

I look into a mirror in a life-filled light.
Hair a tangled mess,
running fingers through it as I write.
if I pulled the stress through dead skin cells,
I'd bald tonight.
I've got scars upon thars like Sneeches
So Mr. Mcbean I'm looking for help
I'll pay a penny to remove the roofing defects.
If I seem to be speaking a bit crazy,
You must not have read the pretext.

If you had read me like a book
And shook the cover loose
I wonder what chapter I'm on with you.
Surely, every book had begun
I've got you rising in suspense
But while I know, I'd never tell,
The surprise at the end.

Submerged in zero gravity, the mind
Free floating, un-anchored, in the space
Surrounding the fixed point, a focus,
Seen from every perspective,
Holding its own emptiness from where
There is no turning away. But how
Captivating the vacuum is, in it
A carousel of imaginary views,
In the shape of anything desired and out of reach. I would spend an eternity in
This holographic void.

Gone
Away
You are lost
It's my own fault
The sleight of my hand
Tipped you over the edge
Your destiny unfulfilled
Oblivion calling to you
Surely this way you will never burn

Fire swirls in an empty black galaxy
Take your hand, and keep trying to hold on
Spinning, dancing, and popping ecstasy.
Somehow your goodbye leaves me feeling conned
And angels swoop down and cut out my tongue
Throw down your cards and a few bills and fall
Growing old with you sounds better than young
Every day, playing, just being your doll.
And the thorn you take comes from roses of red.
Eyes are windows, and yours are dark night skies.
Feeling like I'm dying but never dead
Snow is falling, you keep me warm with lies
Jumping off headfirst, crashing on concrete
Running in circles, missing ev'ry beat