Why do we inflict pain on others
Just to do it
Just to see them cry
Why do you beat mommy up and then the next day act all sorry
Why do you keep doing it
If you are really sorry you would stop
Why do you threaten me if I try to tell someone
You said it is a game
I don't like this game daddy
Why don't you take me to ball games
And take me out for ice cream
And play games like all the other dads do?
Why do you laugh when you make me cry
Why are you never there for me
Why do you do this
Daddy this has gone on for years
Years and years enough for too many tears
5 years pass and a million tears fall
Clothes in shreds
And I have no bed
Seeing stars in my eyes
While your grinning devilishly
You raise your hand
And I can't stand
You say sorry
But sorry is not enough
I've learned to be tough
And I don't buy your crap apologies anymore
This has gone on for more than a years
12 too many years
This needs to stop
I can't escape
Why can't you stop
I'm dying can't you see
daddy Stop
Your hurting me
Daddy I'm dying
Daddy God loves you
Why don't you understand that
Daddy war has harden your heart
Daddy stop
I never go anywhere
I'm always in dingy house with badly worn furniture
Daddy where's mommy
I saw the police discovered a ****** body in the dumpster
Daddy crys stop
Daddy I hate you
Go where you belong in hell

Sometimes it's okay to be by yourself,
**without anyone else.

It's okay for you to be hurt
But the second I start to break
Everyone looks at me like
They've never seen a single soul weaker.

Sometimes
I speak
Just to fill
The silence.

Because
I hate
Feeling empty.

Because
I want
To know
What it’s like
To feel full.

Sometimes
You mistake my need
To fill
That silence
With who I am.

When
In reality

Sometimes

When I speak
I show you
What I am not.

Don't get sad about the past,
for it is not sad about you.
It has passed - like the cars on the road
through a green traffic-light.
It has passed like the moment
where the check-out scanner goes 'beep'
and you walk away with your things.

And if Nietzsche said, that if you gaze into the abyss,
the abyss will gaze back into you,
just don't dare to look
and it will cease to exist.
It will know it's place -
to swallow, swallow itself -
up into space.
Just don't look into the past,
for it is just a stretched blackness.
That is waiting, waiting to take you back,
into the life you should have had.

i make my bed
four times a year
because when the blankets
are on correctly
it's not easily accessible
to wear as a cape.

and i sometimes wish that
i could get out of my
own
******
head
and open up enough
to love someone
else for once.

i sometimes spray more
perfume on my
pajamas than my
dresses it's not
aromatherapy but sometimes
i calm down.

sometimes i manage to
forget
about these
disturbing
thoughts
just
reverberating
through my mind.

and sometimes i just
fall apart
but sometimes i pull
myself together.

today is the sum
of those times.