Dear Little Sister,
I saw you today for the very first time today. You were screaming and crying, like you knew that you had just been born into a truly insane family. I’m sorry about that by the way.
I don’t know why God chose you for us. I have enough sisters, I really don’t need another one. But, here you are, so I guess I have to live with it.
Your timing was terrible. Like everyone in our family, you’re running late. Years late.
I forgive you though. If I had your parents, I would’ve put of being born as long as could to.

Dear Little Sister,
You projectile vomited onto my backpack right as I was about to leave for school today.  If this is an analogy for the rest of our lives, I’m gonna have to send you back.

Dear Little  Sister,
As you get older you are going to learn that our family is a little bit weird. I promise that other people’s parents don’t take them to break into music festivals at the ripe age of two. Also, I think you would be hard pressed to find another mom that can burn pasta as badly as yours can.
I have to be honest with you. Not all of the things that make our family weird are good.
Most nights our dad picks up a bottle and doesn’t put it down until he’s not really our dad anymore. When I was little I don’t think there was anything I was more afraid of.
Don’t worry little one, this will not be your story. I’m here now, and I will be a warrior for you.
I’m mostly telling you this because I want you to know that this is not how its’ supposed to go. Most other dads don’t pick up bottles, and when they do most moms don’t close their eyes to it.
I don’t want you to grow into a person who grabs a bottle because no one ever taught you there was another way.

Dear Little Sister,
I know it was scary this morning when I wouldn’t wake up. You did such a good job of being brave while everyone made sure I was alright.
Right now you are too young to understand, but someday you are going to figure out that people can be sick even if they look fine on the outside. Sometimes sickness lives inside our minds rather than in our bodies. That’s what happened to me.
These sickness can be tricky, like Pete from Mickey Mouse Club House. They can make you think that you don’t want to be around anymore or that everyone else would be happier if you went away. My sickness convinced me of that last night.
I tried to leave and I’m so sorry I did. I want you to know that I love you enough to stay, but sometimes my mind gets too cloudy for me to see that. I promise it won’t happen again.

Dear Little Sister,
It happened again.

Dear Little Sister,
I love you. I love everything about you. I love the way you put your ear to my chest and say “*****, I can hear your heart beep”. I love how you wiggle your toes as you are falling asleep, just like I do. I even love it when you steal half of my cheesecake and pretend the dog ate it, even though we don’t have a dog.
There is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe, happy and healthy. Even if it meant losing everything I love. Even if I had to die for it.
That is why, my love, you cannot have another piece of candy.

Dear Little Sister,
I’m leaving today.
I know what your thinking- and its’ not like before.
I can come back from place I am going. I’ll still live in this world with you rather than in the ground, you don’t have to say goodbye.
I’m going to live in this place so that I can grow taller and I might be a little different the next you see me, but I’ll still be the person who picked you up when cried in the middle of the night all those years ago.
When you were very little I promised that I’d always protect you, and that is still true. Don’t doubt that for a single second. The only difference is that now I’ll be doing it from affair, think of me as your guardian angel. You may not often see me, but I’m still there.
I know that you hear daddy talk about how easy it is for me to go, but that is not true. My heart is breaking, leaving you feels like leaving a piece of myself behind. And if I could stay I would, but I’m not meant for this place anymore.
I love you.
I have since the moment I saw you.
Thank you for being born, even if you were very very late.
Love,
Emma

What makes you feel beautiful?
No I don't mean Make-up And high heels
I mean looking at your best friend, and getting the feels

I mean
Rainbows on a cloudy day
Or
Rays of sun through window panes

I know what makes me Feel Beautiful
Raindrops on roses
A completed work of art,
Warm apple cider
And bumble bees
Or my sisters smile

My sisters smile
My sister is warm apple cider on a cold winter night
My sister is a work of art
My sister is a rainbow
She is the sun, and I her moon
She brings me light when I am lost in the darkness
and cannot find my way
My sister,
Is my best friend
And she makes me feel beautiful

it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
my sister lies in a hospital bed after a suicide attempt.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
yesterday i was at the mall while my sister was rushed to the er.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she swallowed a bottle of pills yesterday to try to make the hurt go away.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
her heart rate went down too low.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she needed me when i wasn't there.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
my nightmares have become a reality.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she's not dead, but she isn't alive.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
the demons lurk in her eyes and i want them gone as much as she does.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she looked so pale with the charcoal staining her tongue black.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i sit here with a blade and consider breaking my promise.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i continue to repeat these lines.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
maybe it's a mantra, but it feels like my last words.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i want her back home.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
the desperation in my soul begins to surface.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
come home soon squish.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
otherwise i might join you in that hospital bed.

mummy listen
I am not sad and I am not lonely
Just because I prefer to spend time on my own, alone, with my books and my writing and my music all around me.
Mummy listen
I know you’ve been through a lot with your daughters and I know we’ve put you in situations we should not have done
But listen mummy listen
Your girls are fine
They have outgrown themselves
Outgrown who they were 5 years ago
Mummy
Listen
I love you
We love you

I said a prayer,
I bowed my head
It was for my sister
As tears from my eyes bled.

It wasn't just any prayer
It was powerful
It went to God the Father
Just like it should

God saved here
I am so glad
Now I'll make more effort
On not being bad

God kept her
She'd stay with me
And everyone else
In the family

I'm thanking God
Each and every day
My sister is still here
Just because I prayed

Her sister died alone

That night she wept
Followed with Mahjong
And went fishing next

I saw Heavens in disarray!

By Wyle

You hurt each other all the time
You fight, ignore, plague each other in rhyme

The first one is the oldest
She is burdened to succeed
She's withers away as life takes it's toll
Once a limelit life filled with opus
Now swallows her with greed
The pole stains more than just her soul

The second one is the baby
She cries out for attention
Everything will never be enough
Success in life she found the key
Her struggles she'd not mention
Weak inside but her exterior, tough

You cause each other pain and jade
For both your sakes I hope this will fade