I am still that shy girl who’s afraid to approach people and have her words and thoughts heard. I am still that girl who fantasizes scenarios of her confident self. I am still that girl who’s afraid of social interaction. I am still that girl who mentally prepares herself just to say hi on the phone. I am still that girl who’s silent in one of those corners. I am still that girl who mutters and stutters words and sometimes finds it difficult to decipher her own emotions and thoughts. I am still that girl who doesn’t run because she’s afraid of her body being judged. I am still that girl and is more magnified some days.
Just this time she has a little more faith in herself. She wants to be louder than her “not good enough” talks. She wants to be bolder and burn brighter than her fears. She doesn’t want to be en-caged by the fear of others thoughts and words because it really wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth not reaching her potential. It wasn’t worth not moving forward. She’s the same girl, with the same dreams except for this time she wants to move past the fear for herself.

In your Dad’s Wolsley Saloon,
Leather blue seats warm in Summer Sun,
Sticking to our near naked skin,
Scorching our young bodies.

We gasp as the rays of a day bleach the body of his car,
In tin and leather,
We gasp as our young eyes awaken,
Our first Summer of love.

In just some flimsy Bikini,
You slither in the sand,
Legs like a Mermaids tail,
You writhe before my primitve eyes.

Sand plays across your browning skin,
As I inhale your unique smell,
Umber wood tinged with vanilla,
Your blond hair alight under sun.

You tease this shy boy till he runs away,
No courage to make any kind of pass,
You slip into the grass of a dune,
I stroll behind lost in want.

i often sit and wonder,
if you wonder about me too.

i try, and think to understand,
what would be your point of view?
i close my eyes,
and it simply can't be true.
you care, and hear,
and you want to.

is it possible that the more we talk,
the lighter i feel.
i think i see you,
and i think you see me too.

so i'll keep glancing up when you look away,
just to get a glimpse,
so ill hold my breath when you pass by,
to prevent my nervousness.

and when you talk,
or smile,
or get comfortably close,
i will write you a poem in my head,
wondering,
if you wonder too.

My tongue was tied she took that as an adoration

My heart was beating quick she took that as a compliment

My hands shook when she touched them she called that attraction,

I said a lot of dumb things, she took them as flattery!

do you hear
like ringing of still bells
sound like precious silver
clinging to the flush of a cheek
The soft sobs of her soul
when you berate her
her whisper but warm breath on your neck
exhale birthing desire
“   no   “
Have your way
Have her sorrow
Shyness?
oh dear. you are mortally worn
by morning