Nothing fills the curvature of my hand
like the cheek of that which
I poured all of my blandness
into.
For i know not the taste of my own heart
but take word
and believe that those who say it is
pure and simple and
unsociable
are right.
I don’t know what
i don’t know
so teach me
Take me and show me what it is
that your unsure and tense heart
wants from mine.
I don’t know anything except for
that i am yours
and You
are mine
I will tell you yes
and that your character’s nature is a bitter-
sweet coffee and my tongue will
pick out your saccharine
love

Some people live their lives in a slumber,
Eyes fixated on the shows
That show
People living fake lives,
Killing zombies,
Being criminals,
Scottish time travelers
For Christ's sake.

Some eyes look at reality,
Real people
Being fake,
Acting like they wish they were,
But they aren't.

Some people
Don't look at anything,
They have lost their ability
To be amazed
By the tricks of a magician,
Tired of being mesmerized.

she hurts
she hates
but she hates herself more than the people around her
she has done too much
she feels like a dissapoinment to her family
who has tried for so many years to help this dissapoinment
and what has she done
more than she should
but i cant continue to fight
when i keep loosing
to this pain
inside my heart
that ive gotten too good at hiding
until i have had enough
and it all comes out
in the ******* things i do
that i cant stand
but the pain inside me has gotton so bad
i do whatever the **** i can
so i can get through the pain
not my life

Open the curtains to the show
Bow down politely
What do you know?
Strings tangled up
Wrapped all around
Spinning me
Twirling me
Making me dance
Dance to the beat of the fingers
Twisting the strings
Bending me like rubber
All for the plastic applause of the audience
Clap clap for whoever's on stage
Smiles are painted
Cheers are fake
Idolize me for my body
For my face
If you don't turn out like me
You'll be a disgrace

I am tired
of putting on the shirt
because it reminds me
of the unwanted chain
before the imminent dawn
plucked bouquets
torn down curtains
ripped out blankets
burnt book covers
broken empty cups,

because all that
are just signs of a show
that is about to be staged.

Tell me you like me
I wish not to bother
Tell me that there is no other
Who you’d rather be with
Don’t show, just tell
You are my world
Am I yours as well?

I think I know
but I want to hear
stay near
here
Don’t leave me alone
with my fear
Of being abandoned
on my own
I may look hard
But my heart is no stone
No brick in the middle
But a fleshy core
Weak, frail, strong no more

When did I lose
Lose that edge
Of confidence, I feel like I’m wedged
In between a rock and a hard place

My heart and my self-hate

Why am I like this?
Why can’t I change?
My need for those words
Is almost deranged
Am I loving myself?
Am I losing myself?
Have I already lost?

Tell me you like me
I need you the most