I'm depressed
But you don't care
I will scream for help
From anyone around here
You'll shift around
Because it makes you uncomfortable
Then laugh it off
So I'll do the same
Then one day
You'll wonder what went wrong
How I never once seemed unhappy
You'll write on my wall
Then share a post about suicide
You know the one
Where you pretend to care after I've died

Haha
There’s no empathy in me
So sweet of you to notice
I don’t ******* care
My heart is a gaping hole
A void you can’t fill
And to feel something
I’ll hurt you
I’ll watch you bleed
To amuse myself
And cut my own skin
To feel something more
Because I’m not a good person
Don’t get me wrong here
I am not okay
And I’ll drag you to Hell
Right along with me

Of darkest obsidian like sharp shards the guilts upon my soul.
Deeply cut the wounds I carry that now make me less than whole.
By choice and deed I know who it is that I have hurt and wronged.
Through consequence of choice I made, my torture has belonged.
A price I paid and yet payment can never recompense.
As soul is tattered in self loathing and I am bereft of all defence.
There is no way to make amends or make a penance for my deeds.
My life has no more meaning and my soul eternally yet bleeds.
I cannot ask forgiveness and of salvation there is none.
For all the things I chose in selfishness, will never be undone.
Maybe priest or God will absolve me by the offering of some chant.
But despise my heart and soul, to forgive myself I cant.

The time we spend on this earth
Is fleeting
We waste so much time on the unimportant
We care too much about frivolous things
We don’t care about others
We encourage children to be selfless yet selfish
The media glorifies the selfish as well
We go through life with a blind eye turned
So many of us have never learned
How important it is to stick together
Every man for himself is the way we live
Yet without each other we have nothing to give
Someday we will all be dead
And there will be others living here instead
Greedy and selfish
Is how we will be remembered
This is not the life I wish to live, but there’s nothing I can do to change it
this is our life now.

I am
But not the masterwork
That you think I am

Silly girl, silly girl
I am not your moon

When I look at you
Don’t look back
Caught you keeping a track

Oh, you little fool
They don’t really love you

A drug, temporary pleasure
That’s what you are, you
Pretty little ‘you’

I’m only trying
To navigate my deeper insides
Ended up causing a fight
Between the heart and the mind

You drown in your own ***** pool
Every time, every night
Talking to the silent nobody
You pretty fool

And when the only toxic thing left is you
Do you cut it out like they say to
The way you’ve been doing to them
Excusing bluntness in the name of self advocacy
Hiding your self hatred with self care
No face mask can remedy your thoughtlessness
Girl
you used to be liked
used to be genuine
Girl

Who are you

you never gossiped like this
this isn’t confidence
You all denial and defensiveness
This isn’t the change you want to make

I have a hidden chest,
full with sorcerous wonders, a trove.
In a hallway, down a staircase,
through a maze chalked full with traps and danger.
My way to keep it safe
from prying hands,
the coin-filled eyes.
My prize, my treasure.
Is it better to keep under constraint or let it free?
How can I share it with the world,
and keep it all for me?