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i don't ask for immortality,
i ask for eternal youth.
but that's not possible
so i just need to live.
oh my this is so cringey and full of cliches but i dont know im just terrified of not being on this earth.
  Aug 20 ranveer joshua
the evening rolls in
clouds of pink and purple
the sound smells like roses
the ground purrs when i pet it
touching the soft grass in bare feet
my skin glows with life
my rings are just a blessing that i don't need
i make no sense right now
but i feel content so
i must make sense
the wet pavement sounds like summer
i think i'm in love with you
i can feel your energy
can see it
so i think
i'm in love with you
  Aug 6 ranveer joshua
Drinking poison to thaw the frozen
numbness suffocating the beating hollow
in my chest

sometimes only a few, more often enough to
paralyze my field of view

one liter of cider and three songs of lana del rey
in the dying sunlight the birds feel comfortable
and i
i just want to have fun
for once in my life.

in the starless sea i found my supernova
enveloping me in a warm haze of light
forever and ever and ever and over

no one understandy me anyway.

© fey (06/08/2020)
just a little crazy thoughts from a little crazy girl
  Jul 18 ranveer joshua
she was
carrying the strength of an eagle
a woman with the smile of a goddess.
she was
the embodiment of beauty
a woman with the voice of an angel.

yet— today.
eyes closed, standing alone.
there was something melancholy in her stature
something bittersweet in her smile—
somehow beautiful.

perhaps it was in that moment that I fell.
the side she did not show the rest of the world was mine for a moment.
  Jun 14 ranveer joshua
Jessica B
Eyes closed; as
My fingers gently glide across.

These Mountains of records;
Scattered every which way.

Breathe in,
As I browse through  
every artist...

That has changed the world. ❤️
all of my emotions, all of them – heartbreak, ecstasy, grief, love – just punched me in the gut. and now i am nauseous. nauseous over reading a book, but in a good way, as weird as that may sound.
reading about love is a hard thing to do when you've not experienced it yet. but i'm holding on to optimism; hoping that i don't have a boring rom com sorta love, but one that makes me want to rip my hair out one day, then bask in its splendor the next. gosh i just want it to be real. maybe that's why i feel this way.
because it's real.
normal people by sally rooney | i am in awe
  Jun 14 ranveer joshua
Flower C
Heaven rained on me,
I breathed in the petrichor,
Bathed in the downpour.
I have sinned,
So destroy me,
With your rain.
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