why won't you
close your eyes
when you know
you'll get hurt to see?

why do you choose
to return to
where the pain resides?

I love you;
despite everything.

Despite all the times I’ve
broken down into nothing.

Despite every shade of green
I’ve ever turned.

Despite the space and time
between us like a hopeless
black hole.

Despite the nights spent
sitting at windows, waiting and
wishing.

And despite the fact that
everything about this is killing me
from the inside out;

I love you.

i come to you half mad with desire
my *** turned to sacrifice;
starved, like an Unwatered flower,
A wretched *****,
A sacred *******,
A temple of worship,

Do you remember How you created me?
In A sort of Rebirth, out of the carcass I once was
Aching to be consumed
All my flesh and bones and sinews,
Stripped away.
Now, just the soft dew of our skin,
The clear thickened air dressed in fire
Smoked by the scents of sage and salt
evoking numberless poems

For me to swim through your body
back and forth in a sacred liturgy
Bloodied and purified I am Laid bare before you now
amidst The white sheets of  the alter
A purity of sin almost worthy of  worship,
almost crying out the holiness of lust before the gods.
And Our velvet kiss turning to a midnight confession
all of our vices and virtues
Are as blood and as sky.

A small note attached to the small toe of the not yet dead woman
It read of sorrow and peace as she lay there still breathing
To why was she spread upon the iron table with eyes the color of coins
Displayed, surrounded by mirrors and windows ***** and unbreakable
Not a whimper slipped from her mouth as the small knife slit into her
Tearing the silk gown with precision of an artist,
the butcher masqueraded itself as husband
Emerald eyes shed no tears, reflexes halt to an end, an acceptance was reached
In her hands held a relic, one of the past and future. The piece was a watch
Ticking, counting down each second of breath. Belief in release the ******* death
Feeling of pleasure with each cut, the teasing texture of blood cascading downwards
How tantalizingly horrific the scene of sacrifice; a modern day alter
Rested upon rusted roses and sweet thorns the alive child laid
Silence for she has given voice to the goddess and the body to the God

She was beautiful,
The calm she wore like a swath,
Wrapped around everyone she met.
Her smile was charming,
The comfort and care always
Expressed through her eyes,
Working it's way into every soul she crossed.
Her heart was kind,
Longing and craving to see
Happiness exude from all she’d meet.

Her mind was a storm;
She gave all she had to everyone
Just to see their happiness grow.
Even if it meant hers was lost.

On top of the world
I ain’t coming down,
Looking through heavens eyes
Earths turned hell bound,
Don’t worry close your eyes
It’s all good now,
I’m here with you.


Round and round we go,
Dancin’ with Demons,
Dancin’ with Devils,
Don’t worry bout me
I already know,
This is for you.

If you are war,
Then I am peace.
If you are coffee,
Then I am cream
Love is sugar,
It makes us sweet.

When you are down,
I would dive to catch you.
If you heart crashes,
And breaks into pieces,
Then I would glue them altogether
Even if it takes time.

When the sun rises up,
All because of your smile’s trace
The roses would blossom
As the light colors your face
I would be purely happy
As you are,  too.

No matter how busy I could be,
I wanted to tell you,
“You are the one I value the most.”
Do not worry about me, I’m fine.
My pain does not matter much to me anyway.
It would be always for you.

Just wanting to give you something
Receive and keep it for me, love.
My heart is like the shining sun,
But my love for you
Reaches the ends of the universe.


These are the little things
You do for  love.

As your eyes
dance across mine
our irises bounce light
off the other's glare.
I understand —
finally —
where people find gods
create altars
build temples
give sacrifice

how they devote
entire lives
to things unseen

only felt.