There's a little voice inside my head
Telling me all the places I could be instead
And every day, the more I grow
I yearn and ache to get up and go
I keep on smiling, like I'm having fun
But you have no idea how much I want to run

Ten thoughts to ten more,
One leads to another,

Ten thoughts to a hundred more,
I wage this anxious war,

One falls for a thousand to rise,
Hundreds break rank and spawn ten thousand more,

Ten thoughts to ten more.

~Robert van Lingen

It's late April
The weather is more like fall though
Melting snow and dry foliage
Autumn reminds me of you

We celebrated Halloween together
Pumpkin farms and feeding goats
Themed parties that didn't go right
Streaming tears in your basement
And I knew exactly how to help you

Video games on cold nights in our onesies
You singing to me
Echoing across the practice room walls
Our song
It meant so much to you and I felt it too

Something changed when I fell in love
With someone else
I still loved you too though
You thought I had commitment issues
Maybe I do
Maybe I don't
I don't want to go there now

I still remember the good times we had
It hurts to think about them now
But whenever I'm in town
I hold my breathe because I'm scared to see you
I'm scared to look closer at our relationship
I panic when it smells like October
Because it reminds me of you
Of us
And I'm too scared to think about how that makes me feel

I'm running now and i'm running out of breath
and with every tracks i've ran past through,
none of them seems right

I'm running now and i'm running barefooted
and with every steps i've stepped through,
none of them were smooth,
rough edges i could feel under my heels

I'm running now and i'm running blind
and with every tracks i've seen,
none of them were visible,
guessing,
and hoping all of these were given light,
so that i know which way should i run to

Running fast in circles
Chasing love like dogs chase tails
I will follow my heart around the world
Even if I have to travel all of Earths trails

Fear is a Gift
It taught me to run
It taught me there are things worse than stress

Fear is a gift
Because when I'm running away from my worries
Because when I'm afraid of what might come

Fear reminds me
I'm still alive
I'm still breathing

Fear is a gift
Because somewhere deep down
Fear reminds me
I'm still human