give me a second to catch up,
your running too fast for me,
i'm scared you will leave,
please do not despise me if i told you something,
i was always ahead of you,
do you wish to hear a lie?
something you shall not know,
until it clicks,
until i have already ran too far for your hands to grasp,
i love you.

We run across the tracks,
A horde of desperate children.
Our tears are raked off our cheeks
By the wind that slams into our faces.

Crouching, cowering, gritting our teeth,
A fruitless attempt to make ourselves smaller,
To dodge the never-ending stream
Of lead teeth that eat into our flesh.

Gripping the clammy fingers
Of our only hope,
Until they are pummelled into the floor,
And we leave them behind.

We live to impress,
We walk a tightrope every day.
God help you if you fall,
Because you are on your own.

They’ll only hold your hand
If there is something in it.
They don’t love you,
So just keep running.

Running, running,
Stretch out your fingers,
To the other side.
Because when you fail…

Well at least you can say
one part of you made it…
Right?

It's not easy to revisit our memories
I am not quite sure why
Maybe I actually did love you
Did? Do? Done
I don't know
Maybe I didn't and
It's too hard to admit

Maybe I am a mindfuck
That just likes playing games
Feeling empowered
By breaking bones and hearts on my way up
Seeking control when I'm feeling lost

Maybe I'm ashamed
Because I know I hurt you badly
I kept blaming you too
"We weren't right"
"You were too dependent"
"You were too invested"

Maybe it was me
I don't know what I feel
I don't necessarily regret the break
I do miss you sometimes though
We weren't great at the end
We were definitely something though

Maybe I miss your friendship
Getting ice cream together after it all
That's a memory I can't forget
It was hard for us both
I never told you that though
How do I tell you that
I didn't think we could be friends
Because I couldn't handle it
When it still doesn't mean we should be together again?

Maybe it really was the pressure
"Soulmates"
That's a loaded explanation
You know I crack under that kind of intensity
It's not your fault though
It's easy to desire the untouchable
Especially once you've touched me

Maybe we will never speak again
Maybe we will
Either way I need you to know I'm sorry
Genuinely

Maybe it's because I recently felt
Something similar to the way you might have
Because when someone you love
Desires another
It could **** you

Maybe it was easy to delete the pictures
Simply because I am running away from memories
Maybe I don't want to face these demons
They always catch up eventually

Please just remember
You are strong
You are worth love
You are beautiful
You will find someone who treats you right
You are enough on your own though
You deserve everything good and
You will survive this storm

You may be my number one but,
Coming in second place ain’t nothing but me on the run from your first love.
Sneaking into your room
Smelling nothing but her fresh sprayed perfume
Laying on her pillow on her side of the bed
Its almost too easy to just pretend
To you, there is nothing to mend
Nothing wrong with it
It’s just *** no feelings in it
You say to yourself “it isn’t really cheating”
While telling me I’m the one who really gets your heart beating
Filling me with fleeting horomones I know will go away when I go home
But
Right now you and I are all alone
If I try to leave you’ll just call my name and groan
“I can’t live without you”
So I’ll crawl into the bed that you pretend is ours
As if we’re the ones engaged in more than just an affair
I lie to you and  tell you I just don’t care that i am not yours
As you hold my body and stroke my hair
I almost feel loved
But I know in reality there are no doves in our future
And No future for those imaginary symbols of love to inhabit
So, after our fun
I rise up and
Smile and
Say goodbye
Because no matter how hard I try I will
Never be your number one
And not looking back I’m
Back on the run
This time, not from your day one,
But from you, and your false illusion of love.

Matthew Scott Harris (the second offspring and only son of
Boyce and the late Harriet Harris) made his unheralded debut on
a brutally cold January thirteenth almost three score years ago.
     His father - employed as a mechanical engineer with general
electric heard the powerful lungs of this gangly newborn prior to
being permitted to cradle said infant.
Born in Cincinnati, Ohio, this sole son spent the majority of his
fifty plus LIX existence within southeastern Montgomery County
Pennsylvania.
     Extreme shyness in tandem with a congenital speech defect
(submucous cleft palate) seemed to alienate him from other class
mates.
     As an outside neutral observer, I watched with gut when
ching agony how he seemed socially detached and rarely invited
to join in any reindeer games, rather mean kids balled their fists
and swung faux pas sucker punches to sleigh **** shay -
so they did say.
     Yes, a gross degree of taunting left him without friends.
     Lack of confidence and ultra reticence offered hue manna
tee to bullies.
     Matter of fact, this vulnerability, and susceptibility per
receiving verbal slings continued thru public education.
     He graduated without any vocational idea (despite an ignoble
attempt to fail - and yet got promoted nonetheless), and then
endured parental wrath equal ultimatums with a scathing expletive
filled lectures.
     The absence of clear-cut goals found him enrolling and with
drawing from countless colleges and/or universities.
     Delay with interpersonal success accompanied like a dark
shadow creeping closer to the edge of night.

Stop
Stop
Don't make me feel guilty. Don't give me those eyes. un
Run
I'll run from my problems. I know it's bad for me.
Look
Look
It's time to let me go. It's only going to hurt a little bit.
Close
Close
Stop looking for someone again. Stop trying to fill that hole.
No good
No good
It won't change anything. It won't heal you at all.
Not bad
Not bad
You can't demonize me. You can't make me feel worse.
Leave
Leave
I won't leave.
I won't leave.
I have to leave.
I have to leave.