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Katelyn McShane May 2018
Falling apart
But it’s okay because
He can’t see me fall
But I do fall
And it is
All for
Katelyn McShane May 2018
I don’t need
A ton of friends
I just need one

One friend who
Will love me
And accept my crazy

But I don’t
Have even one
I just sit alone

And see them
All together laughing
And I wish to be them

But I’m all alone
In a room
Full of people

Nobody even knows
How close I am
To just leaving

Because they would
Never notice
If I never came back

And I let them
Go on without me
Because it’s what I deserve
Katelyn McShane May 2018
I am obsessive
Though my room is a mess
Please don’t touch a thing

Don’t make me
Change or conform
Because that is my fear

But I am obsessive
A creature of habit
Set schedules

A slow walker or
A bump in the road
And I may lose it all
Because I am obsessive
I will cry over
Spilled milk

My absolute weakness
Is embarrassment
Head down to walk

Will I be obsessive
When it all goes wrong
I surely will break

How can I live
When my world is
A mess in the neat lines

I’m obsessed with
Poetry- lines and stanzas
All in neat rows

All spaces and ink
Covering my paper
And, yes I am still obsessive
Katelyn McShane May 2018
Are you afraid of the dark?
In the dark, things are unseen
I have no color or ethnicity
No gender or ****** orientation
Are you afraid of the dark?
In the dark we are all equal
We have no height or weight
No hair or eye color
Beauty is up for interpretation
Are you afraid of the dark?
In the dark you're just a person
You have no talents or disabilities
Wages and wealth don't matter
Are you afraid of the dark?
Nobody can be insulted in the dark
Education and relationship status
All these things are so irrelevant
Everybody is my equal, and none of us can see anything around us
Are you afraid of the dark?
Katelyn McShane May 2018
Being with you is like
Running with scissors
Or gambling with my last 10 cents
I never know what will happen
But the moment it is so intense
Reaching in to a bubbly sink
Or running alone in the dark
The rules tell me to stop it right now
But I feel like I  just have to start
Meeting a man I just met online
Or drinking up all of the *****
Loving you now is a risk that I take
But it’s one that I consciously chose
Katelyn McShane May 2018
I know now so much more
After flying , falling
Hitting my floor
Breaking my heart
Slamming the door
Watching my hope
Slam the front door

But now I’m safe
It’s a good place to be
From the very bottom
I can finally see
I wasn’t far up
So much left to go

Now I start up
Just flying a bit
Not daring to leave
The ground where I sit
But giving up now
I won’t take a hit
Too scared to fly
So I might as well quit
Katelyn McShane May 2018
It was like sunshine in July
Warm and happy and glorious
I always imagined forever in it
And yet, as time went by
The mask started to slip
Piece by ugly piece
It all came crashing down
Into my waiting arms
Because I always told you
That I would be there
And I would fix
you, me, us
The broken mess I made
But “goodbye” came soon
Long before “I’m Sorry”
And an apology loses
All its power to save
When it’s only me and an echo

— The End —