what do you call that hurt you feel that is less than a heartbreak?
you know the one that you can't categorize as heart wrecking pain but still makes you want to rip your heart out?

the one that makes your heart hurt just enough so that you can still carry on with your daily life
but still enough to keep you up at night

it's like a cut that will not make you bleed
but will still leave a scar
it will scar and remind you of someone

someone who showed interest
someone who caught you off guard
someone who made your heart flutter

someone who keeps you up at night thinking about the endless what ifs

what if you had given it more time?

would the cut be deep enough to bleed?

Nirvana


Lost in the world, searching for answers.
Why do we only live once?  Why are there no second chances?
What is the meaning of life?  What is our purpose for being?
Why do we not yet know?  Do you know the reason?


A search for enlightenment, using many different teachings;
I must find the answer, by using any means,
To reach a state of enlightenment and find my nirvana.
So I'll ask someone who knows; can you hear me Buddha?


To find your nirvana, follow the teachings of Buddha;
Buddha gained enlightenment, so you must become a Buddhist.
Buddha was an atheist, searching for his Heaven;
A way to be free and stop repeated reincarnation.


To reach a new state of consciousness,
You must become free from life and your attire.
Your possession’s you must leave behind and you must forget your desire.
To find freedom from life, you must want for nothing;
Then you shall become free, from eternal suffering.
From the pain of the circle of life being repeated;
Because Heaven can't be reached, if you’re always reincarnated.


To find enlightenment, forget human treasures;
To raise up into the sky, you must not crave possessions.
Trinkets or money or power keep you trapped and without insight.
They stop you leaving this life; they stop you reaching the light.


Buddha’s Buddhist’s, practice his teachings
And they lead their life in the way in which he believed,
Was the right thing to do and he did do it right;
Buddha left this world enlightened…he walked into the light.


To find your nirvana; to raise to a new state of consciousness,
Is to die as a man and then pray to go to Heaven and be blessed.


Maybe there is life after death
And maybe I will fly up and face God.
Maybe anything is possible...


But when I learn the truth, I will be gone.


(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Q & A


Can you tell me please, how am I meant to live?
Can you answer me?  Do I need your forgiveness?
Can you tell me please, what am I meant to be?
Can you show me something in me, I have never seen?


All those nights I’ve worried about my health;
All those mis-spent moments, I could have been somewhere else.
In another world, or another reality;
If things were different, would I really be myself?


Won’t you answer me!?  God someone tell me!
Won’t you answer me!?  God can you tell me!?
Won’t you answer me?  God why can’t I be;
Something different to what I was meant to be?


And if our fate is already written, then what does that mean?
Are we living our lives on the edge of our seats?
Or are we even living at all?
Or are we just moving through our time like fools?
Who cannot see the bigger picture in which we live?
If we’re falling apart, is that our destiny?
And who has all the answers to all of the questions?
And would you like to live if all your questions were answered?


Won’t you answer me!?  God someone tell me!
Won’t you answer me!?  God can you tell me!?
Won’t you answer me?  God why can’t I be,
Something different to what I was meant to be?


All my life I’ve wondered, is this really it?
Is this all I’m ever going to turn out to be?
And I’ve always thought, I’d be much more than this;
But I guess this is just the way things have to be.


But there’s just one question I’d like to ask;
Before death comes to take me, can I have one last chance?
And please allow me to ask you this question, before it’s too late.
If I’d have changed my world would I really have been myself?


Won’t you answer me!?  God someone tell me!
Won’t you answer me!?  God can you tell me!?
Won’t you answer me?  God why can’t I be,
Something different to what I was meant to be?


Are we just changing our future dreams?
And moving them into something we can reach?
And if all that we want is always out of reach,
Is that really just the way life is?


And if all that we have is all that we need,
Would it mean that we couldn’t continue to live,
Without having it all just taken away?
Could we not be content until our dying days?


Won’t you answer me!?  God someone tell me!
Won’t you answer me!?  God can you tell me!?
Won’t you answer me?  God why can’t I be;
Something different to what I was meant to be?


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

I don’t know


In your smile, I feel locked in love; no longer alone.
I don’t know, I don’t know;
I don’t know why I love you so.


We are him and her
And he and she;
Will we always be…you and me?


I don’t know if we will love each other forever;
I don’t know if we will drift apart.
I don’t know if this is as good as life gets,
Or if you could make it become even better.
All I know is…
I want to remain a little piece of your heart.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Zero heroes


Whatever happened to the heroes?
Those that we used to adore.
I need somebody to tell me,
Where do they go when they’re about to fall?


Whatever happened to the heroes?
Where are they now?  Nobody knows.
Where did they all choose to go?
I guess I lost all my heroes.
They all seem to fade away in the end.
Whatever happens to the ego’s?
When we decide they have let us down.
I guess things will never be the same again; oh no.


We were surrounded by infamy,
But now they’re all so sweet; no-one is angry.
They’re all so nice it makes me want to scream!
Get back on your star and let us once more dream.
Why does this happen to our heroes?
We want to love them like we did all those years ago.
But something happens to our heroes;
No more shouting loud, they’re all so mellow.
Whatever happened to our heroes?
They change with time; they all fall or die.
Our heroes change in our life time;
I wish I could go back and see them in their prime…
I want to go back in time.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Grace


Grace, can you hear me?
Grace, can you hear me, when I cry?
I tried so hard,
Left my mark on your heart.
I have fallen so far beyond;
What is normal?  What is life?


I just can’t tell you;
I just can’t tell you anymore.
So won’t you tell me, with or without?
Inside or out?
All of my loving words, you say you have never heard before;
You never hear me when I knock on your door.
I need you to see me;
I need you to see me as I fall,
Beyond this world into the abyss of an unanswered call.
Can you see me as I am crawling up this wall?
Can you see me?
How can you hear me, when we don’t talk?


I talk to your ears only.
I whisper to you softly,
I am here; do you still need me?
Do you still see me?
Do you still see me break?
Do you still see me, or am I just another empty face?
A ghost of love,
A hand to touch;
When all is dark inside my life, I want to see you.
I want to see you for what you are;
You are my hopeless love.
A truth so real it leaves me, touched.


I really hear you;
I really need to see you smile,
But you can’t hear me or see me,
Walking away as I leave you behind,
To words of numbers never dialed.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Ask me not
The question I most want to ask
The letter never sent which flies
And falls apart between the lines
You think I'm scared of you?
No, not scared...
I'm terrified