Goodbye Bottle Bandit

What a face she had . Shaped like a heart with a heart shaped mouth
with the most beautiful head of hair
you ever saw.
underneath it all a fragile, beautiful soul
She was funny
she was classy.
She was smart
She was the kind of woman who would force homemade cheesecake on you
and things us swamp Yankees had  never heard of - like artichoke gnocchis
She was mine for a while,
or I was hers
you could never really own  a girl like that.
And I know she loved me.
But Jim beam and jack Daniels were the real men in her life
Only now do I understand
Something I could never understand
Something nobody should understand
How a girl Buddy Cianci  once said was the most beautiful girl in Providence
Died alone sitting upright on a couch.
One of her men in her hand.

There were men in the past who are used her and  abused her
I don’t wish them ill
but I don’t wish them well
She once said  that her mother was her only friend
I said “what about me?”
What about you? She said.
I’m your friend .
No, you’re my man .
I was proud to be .
Until those two southern boys edged me out.

Truth is I’ll never understand
Neither does  her mother
I hope nobody understands .
I don’t wanna live in a world where people understand that kind of thing .
Bottle bandit .
My bottle bandit.

the old wives
say it must be
the left hind foot
of a rabbit
shot with a silver bullet
or not shot at all
simply captured
one way or another
ideally on the grave
of a criminal
the more wicked the person
the more potent the charm
with the foot harvested
while the poor creature
is still alive
it has to be done
in a cemetery
during the night
of a full
or new moon
though others say
it should be
a friday
a rainy friday
friday the thirteenth
if the foot is to become
one of those lucky ones

Saturn is in
line with
Venus tonight
but, nothing's easy
when you're down.
The clowns walk
around, dressed in
yellow; fast food smiles
and cheeseburger
souls, and nothings
easy when you're down.

The dancers with poles
and sadness, that Halloween,
fires burning, childhood
perfumed dreams,
kind of sadness fills the
navy blue night.
I can't find the North star,
and the jack-lanterns lie rotting
in the streets of Nebraska
and Kansas, and the candies
all gone, and the kids wait.
And I can't find  
the deep blue shirt I bought
at Goodwill, and Billy Burroughs
is filled with worms and earth,
and Bukowski looks at Satan
and says, "what do you
mean, we're out of whiskey?"

I've never been much for the stars,
and family and Thanksgiving are
painfully overrated,
and nothing's easy when
you're down.

Parading through these beautiful Hills..

--You, and your entourage of a mixture
   of dog-like,  well trained, egostrokes..
   and also of men..   whose tattered boots
   you are unworthy, of even tying..

Traipsing across the Badlands--
your long  red hair, flowing..
giving off a stance, (as if)..

--You, and your entourage of a mixture
   of dog-like, well trained, egostrokes..
   and also of men.. in tattered boots
   that you are unworthy, of even tying..

Raining down havoc,  on the Beautiful People
simply for their having  within them ;;
  
Faith:
In the Great Father.. and Substance of Spirit;
Neither of which your cowardly Egostroke
will ever garner,  or ascertain..

But oh, you could steal..

And pilfer..
And destroy.

You will pay, oh General *******-boy
Your long, curly locks..
will take on a whole new color,  red
There will be a gathering..
A showdown..

A Holy Reckoning--
In that Montana field,  between the Hills
Along the Little Bighorn..

The River of all Beaten-Down  one's, dreams

how crazy was that night,
immense darkness, brightest light,
wildest man, wildest woman
became one decadent human,
halved souls, find each other,
I could have stopped there,
gave up worry, gave up fear,
held tightly with his strength,
heart surrended with intent,
take my breath away,
don't need to live another day,
I had found it all,
why go on?
If I died there in those strong arms, I would have died happy.
But then my most beloved,  would not have achieved spectacular things,
our world flies on fragile, suspended, wings.

Endless bounty,
knows no yield;
in rotting garbage,
or fertile field.

Atop the hill,
daily bread is carved.
While down in the valley,
I wander and starve.

Taking shelter,
in the moors and heath.
I shiver and struggle,
to find comfort or sleep.

Dusk soon fades,
the sky jet-black and stark.
My bed of peat,
dew drops, and marsh.

Morning sun:
scorching and cruel.
I hope for a morsel,
some water or gruel.

I saunter weary,
eyes sunken and hollow.
The world is alive,
the birds chorus I follow.

Spared from the sun,
under a thicket or copse.
Sharp pangs of hunger
choke out all hope

Such a fortune given,
so ill a fate.
Forlorn and  wretched,
is forever my state

With strength from the Heavens,
I crawl to your door.
You greet this sad beggar,
with contempt and scorn.

I ask for salvation,
eyes hopeful and glazed.
But I am given no shelter,
nor provision, or grace.

Cast out in the rain,
sodden and cold.
My limbs are weary,
My mind in tumult.

Providence! provide,
Heed my desperate prayer!
Above the stars shine,
my refugee from despair.

I await my death,
If God's grace would bestow;
but I awaken again,
with hunger in tow.

Again I venture,
to your door for fare.
But another has answered,
and pushes back my hair.

Face caked with dirt,
streaked with hot tears,
they run down my cheeks
like raindrops so clear.

My shawl drenched,
my garments of grime.
I'm given bread and milk,
a warm fire and wine.

I am thankful to them, and my Lord,
to have a bed, dry shoes,
fresh clothing, and chores.

New days are ahead!
Such joy and ardor.
No longer do I rest,
in the heath or the moor.