your cherry lip gloss packs a punch.
i never wanted to sober up
from that punch drunk lust.
prom night while i lie on my left side
i hear tinnitus flirting with my right ear
she breathes into me heavily
the memory that you've been here and
i'll never feel pain like that again.
so i'll bite into my own lip until i come to understand
that wet metallic sensation
and the throbbing skin that
is passion.

I remember how embarrassed I was when you wanted to record me leaving for prom and I didn't know how to tell you that it wasn't even a big deal so I just let you do it anyways and just acted like it wasn't happening when my date showed up
I asked my mom if she could pull you aside and remind you that it's not my senior prom, it was my dates and that he can record me in my senior prom but she didn't want to hurt your feelings
I am glad she didn't
I am glad I didn't

You never made it to see my senior prom.
You never made it to see me graduate from high school or see me get my first job or my fist car or start school in the fall

You never made it to see me grow into the person I am today and people always say you're watching and you're proud but I don't believe in that

You told me once that life is too short and no one will ever have enough energy to do all the things they want to but you told me I spark like the sun and my energy is more than a five year old child and even more energy than red waves

You're an inspiration

Flashy lights, fancy clothing
Tightly hiding our insecurities
Ah, Yes, in this darkness we are safe
A perfect night filled with impurities
The friendly space between us closing

We lost control but didn't chafe
Some call it living others infidelity
But neither had a title
In the music, we found our melody
all while our heart strings interlaced

Our thoughts went spiral
Losing control
Both belonging to another
I'd rather be in your hold
And the slowing moments were vital

How could we make such a blunder
We must've forgotten our places
How could we slip
Seeing their heartbroken faces
We ruined our potential lovers

Well, aren't you an unlikely pip?
So many things that were untold
Everything was so bold
Our emotions unrolled
And we carelessly locked lips

The world is full of things I hate,
things I could much rather live without.
When people are rude to their parents,
when people complain about their hardships but do nothing to overcome them,
when people **** shame girls for the same things guys are praised for,
when I get told something about me is wrong when I can't help it,
when people project their problems onto those who do nothing to deserve the suffering,
when I'm harassed for even existing,
when people lie when they know the other person knows the truth,
when I come home to drug and alcohol use by someone I have no authority over,
when I have nightmares so vivid, I can't tell what's reality anymore,
when people try to control other people's lives,
when I can't even get out of bed without wishing I was dead,
when I accidentally rhyme,
when I can't even be happy on my Prom night because my depression prevents any kind of happiness from truly being my emotion,
when I can't stop shaking at Post Prom because my anxiety is killing me and I hate feeling alone when I'm surrounded by people who love me.
I hate this.
I hate you.
I hate them.
I hate myself.

Cover the sun with lace
from your dead
grandmother’s attic and
watch dusty patterns
dance over the sequined
Mary Janes that she wore
to her senior prom and
your mother’s first
wedding.

.          Pretty girl
.          R ed dress
Want tO dance
.   Oh My god, Hell yes.

There upon the ballroom floor;
Lights shone down -
On the couple of the evening grand -
With a choir singing their Love,
And eyes illuminated in beauty,
With stormy hearts ablaze;
That night may forever restore.

We both like red
He's captured by its vibrance
While she dwells on its gloom
Truth is I love maroon

We both look good in it
Yet your sight belongs to another
He let a wide smile and she does too
While I stare in peace, holding myself together