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louella Aug 2022
i need to get some stuff off my chest
my cousin doesn’t like me anymore
i’m at a family gathering right now;
a birthday party
i love talking to my aunts and my grandma
they include me in conversations and
make me feel worth their while
maybe it’s a me problem
that i changed and i’m average
and painful to be around
it could most definitely be that
and i wish i could stop
obsessing over speaking
but quarantine ******* me over
and left me with repulsive social anxiety
someone’s laughing
and the shaven dog is barking
my ears can’t handle this
the dog hates me, she doesn’t
let me pet her and i just wish i had a
dog as a companion, but
my parents don’t want that responsibility
even though it would be all mine
i need a dog, i need a friend
who’s always present,
there for me
no one ever is
no one knows what gathers inside
my brain throughout the day
that forces me to write
or i would literally burst.
now my cousin said goodbye to her
favorite aunt and uncle
and her young cousins who
are perfectly skinny and basic
and **** perfect
i’m miserable now
it’s not like it used to be
her cousin looks like a model
where’s my glow up?
i just look so terribly ugly
that it hurts me so badly
even twelve year olds look like models
and they make me
so terrifically insecure
it’s infuriating
how unfair some things are
especially genetics and body dysmorphia
i need some boy who’ll soothe
this mental state i have
been swallowed up in
without my consent
my incompetent brain has never heard
the word ‘no’ before, apparently
i’m sick to my stomach
thinking about everything
and how everything used to be
and how everyone is changing
and how much i want to die
killing me would be doing me
a huge favor at this point
why do people always have
to make me insecure with their
toned bodies and gorgeous faces?
i am convinced that something
is eternally wrong with me
but i’ll stop making you
mad by saying i hate myself
cause now it’s basically redundant
but one last time 
for good measures
i hate myself
and i’ll never be an asset
to society
goodbye, the only thing that loves me for who i am is my writing
sorry, i’m a burden, i know

8/7/22
Pr nandni Jun 2022
YOU'RE not only who has problems here,
RISE above your grief.....
Look up,
SKY have SCARS too!!!!
Turns colourfull, Burns his BLUE ......
abhinav May 2022
New day, with dawn of rising sun
off the docks, cruising towards horizon
light and breezy all, felt like blessed by Poseidon
Skinny dipping for happiness, hope I find some.

Many I got bon voyage, many I curses,
many were on board, many kraken lurks.
Head straight, high sail,
ignored all, focused on right trail.

Pleasant journey until now, premonitions around,
dark clouds, high tide, ensuing panic in crowd,
blinded became Travis, undermined the upcoming crisis
Darkness engulfed, realized too late, next moment...  

**** hit the fan down came the rain,
followed by storm and a huge hurricane.
Bulldozed through, but that's just iceberg's tip,
it's gonna be titanic soon, already feel like losing grip.

Beyond horizon, can't see,
calm sea or whirlpool will there be.
All I know, strength of these sails,
sailors and that mysterious gentle gale.
It's your journey, your path to traverse, unique for all, unique are huddles, none will  know your struggle, but don't bow down before seemingly infinite troubles, just buckle down and aim for beyond.
Believe in yourself when none other, for you are your true companion.
....................................................................................
Sometimes it feels like I am writing this kind of **** to convince myself  rather than expressing my thoughts, it's like a attempt to self preach, like me trying to solidify these thoughts hoping that it'll bring about a change in me...sad me:((
My Dear Poet Mar 2022
Do you scrape it
or roll it
pick it
or mold it
when picking at guck?

Do you fold it
or scrunch it
Tear it
or bunch it
when wiping that muck?

Do you flip it
or flop it
hold it or drop it
when dealing with yuck?
Sidharth Suraj Nov 2021
Fishing for impudence
looking outside,
all seem so murky
with a dying light,
all seem so monochrome,
with a condescending benight.
Now I am looking closely
and all that I found,
was a hatred very symmetric,
to which I am bound.
Just like the voids
I see in myself,
maybe my lens is too murky,
or my windows blacked out,
but life is miserable
and I see it around.

I often try to deny,
and live like everything’s fine,
but some feelings never settle,
some actions don’t suffice.
I look for answers around
I look for meanings behind,
maybe it’s a different me,
or maybe it’s the defeated mind.
Thoughts never to settle,
when I write sometimes,
but facing your fears,
through the words you write
is more difficult than accepting the light.

I often try to view this,
in a stupidly optimistic hue,
thinking like a flower
proud of its scent and bloom.
Thinking I am unique and
so might be my issues,
but I don’t want to look around
cause inside I know,
I am part of the million others
that bloomed and withered in this garden too.
My problems don’t amount
to the privileges I own,
and pain might be puny
when compared to yours,
but I still get hurt,
even if my problems aren’t new,
I still want to say them,
even when my words are few.
All these words are static just like my thoughts.
Valya Oct 2021
When will I be free from the confines of my brain
Is this only a temporary setback
Or is this a permanent problem that will linger
My therapist is almost 100% sure that i have bipolar disorder and I'm so scared :/
Zafirah Sep 2021
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨.
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨?
𝘉𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘴?
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦?
𝘖𝘳 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴, 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴?
𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?

𝙉𝙖𝙮!
𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙩𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤  𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝  𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣.
𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙠 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨.
𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨.
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨.
𝙏𝙖𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚.
𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧,
𝒢𝑜𝒹 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝒹𝑒𝓃 𝒶 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁 𝒷𝑒𝓎𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝒸𝒶𝓅𝒶𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎.
𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓏𝑒,
𝐻𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽 𝓂𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒  𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝑒𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹.
This is the complete poem in response to my question: Do hardships make you stronger or weaker?
But as I said, they simply  "𝓉𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽 𝓂𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝑜 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒  𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝑒𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹."
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