Their stares, so cold
I hide my self
hoping
Praying
they don't notice my forgetfulness
I can't stand small spaces
but this is even worse
Empty, cold, and large
My heart on my sleeve
I reach out
Struggling to fill the space
Trying to speak back
I know they're talking to me
But I can never speak back
Why can't I ever fill this space
With the proper furniture of words

(Cry of Grievance: life's overwhelming problems.)

Except for God's mercy,
My troubles would have long
Destroyed me.

Multiplied like the stars,
They are as deceitful as
The ways of a brook.
An innocent prey, stalked game;
I am the target of their poignant aim.

Like water, my troubles flow;
They are as unwelcome as a foe.

But God shall plague them.
He shall bind them with a strong cord
And crush them 'neath his mighty foot.
And they shall cease.

Lord, by your sovereign power,
Rebuke them into oblivion
That they all cease.

**NOTE: This psalm does not refer to any person. Herein, I am simply speaking of the daily grind in my life, which seemed to have been multiplied one-hundred fold.

They tell me to sit still.
I can't.
Fidgeting
Tinkering
Call it what you want but I'm listening
To every word you speak at me
Not to me, not these days
When you say we're addicted.
To what?
Technology?
Social media?
We're constantly on our phones,
Texting
Tweeting
Snapchat
Instagram
Facebook
We don't care about the world we live in,
All we care about are followers and likes.

Who made these platforms for addiction?
Was it the generation being hated for using them?

Or was it someone else?

Open your eyes,
There are bigger problems than social media.
As you read this
As you hear this
We are pumping toxic chemicals into the very air we breathe.
Entire forests are being destroyed.
Ice caps are shrinking.

But we're too lost in our social media to care.

You clearly think that
The teenagers in school,
Still too young to act for themselves
Must be the ones at fault.

Ask yourself:
Who owns those power plants?
Who’s cutting down the forests?
Who’s too ignorant to see the problems they're creating?
Definitely not the school kids.

In 5 years I will proudly present to you

Generation Z

We will recognize the problems that you created, and we will work to fix them.
But until then, stop blaming us


For what you've done.

My life has been full of harmful coping mechanisms/it's at the point I can't even trust my next decisions/I can't think straight I feel every steps a big'n/nothings been working I need a better system/been fighting and feel guilty I failed when I led the mission/ wasn't long ago I had confidence I was bred for wisdom/you wouldn't know because my problems weren't said it's written/all I'll let myself believe is none would have read or listened/I'm not there yet but I must say I dread the symptoms/all these contacts but none to tell I have no speck of vision/what's the point when your track record shows you've only wrecked when driven/I mean come on son no plan you have set has risen/You see it all around you, you know the devil is real/playing games with you, you can't stay at this level and chill/you promised God you'd stop but then you severed the deal while you would wrestle your feels like you needed something special to heal/I can't count your bad habits, you got several to ****/tell em your rebellious ways never left the rebel fulfilled/how long will it take until your demons convince you/to do something you'll regret although you'd never intend to/I've been running from my problems I feel winded as hell/I just want a story in my life that's splendid to tell/but your sins own you and you were even rented to sell/chained like you were sentenced to jail and no ones hinted at bail/tell me what you would do even with the charges lifted?/because you don't deserve it I know that parts a given/what can I say though, you are your harshest critic/doing a 180 would be your hardest pivot/I hate you so much like I am a heartless bigot/taking a trip to church just feels like the farthest visit/your soul is becoming one that carries the darkest pigment/if you don't clean it you'll be left with a tarnished spirit/the signs were obvious youd go off on a tangent/when things wouldn't add up you enraged and you ranted/they used to be seldom now those moments are rampant/this monster will finish you if I have to be candid/that's what you'd take it for so no wishes are granted/you carry the smell of defeat and the stench is so rancid/you're tryna find it so quick that your methods are frantic/on the road to success your car broke and you're stranded/it's like your only dream is living a life of leisure/but somehow you've never been using the right procedures/and people say they got your back, but you know the fact, it's only so they have a place for the knife of Caesar/how long has it been since you've had patience inside?/your silence and contempt are just agents of pride/vulnerable emotions you've been racing to hide all of this work for what man you're just wasting your time/all of the dreams that you were chasing have died/you think on your mistakes that keeps frustration alive/at best you and the problems that you're facing are tied/you can never advance if you put the basics aside/every time they give you credit you say the payments denied and lock all this hate away in the basement and hide/watch as your heart is gonna wind up vacant in time if you let nothing else in life but this complacence abide/have you got the message? It ain't been a race to reply do you even know the questions for the answers you're aching to find?/to become more open was not my resolve/perhaps my life is better with no one involved/I just wanna beat my demons like they're DePaul/opportunity may have redialed but I can't recall/tell me what you've done since you're flaws were recognized?/oh they've all been set aside? I haven't saw a better lie/they say your life hasn't beared fruit I got an orchard in mine/penny for your thoughts if you only knew a quarter of mine/ and they havent done a thing except torture my mind/and I can't see what it's doing to me, it borders on blind/even your successes seem to trigger the doubt/life has knocked you down with such a vigorous foul/most resort to downing bottles till the liquor is out but you've never been a one to mirror the crowd/You know when they talk about you that those whispers are growls, I don't have the answers to your problems will you figure it out?.......

A girl full of promise and wonder
but she was hit by malice and fell under

You blame her for falling
but how could you shame her for she was only forestalling

You care about her and you don't want her to give in
yet you don't bare with her and that is unforgiven
.

You raised me to rise above the
         shallow pills that are sometimes
caught in the throat of life's dry moments.

But when we swallow to many placebos,
       longevity is staled by us collecting
false remedies to  our problems.

I'll never do as my friends did and choke
on every struggle, clearing my throat I never
took anything I just rose above life's problems