Don’t ask me where my mind is
It has sworn me to secrecy,
Instructed that I shut it in a case
And hide it away from view.
All I am left is a dark expanse -
Blind nothingness
Stretching on and on.
I am a fish never to be landed,
Hooked on a line and pulled
As if drifting to far galaxies.
A pointless mission on a loop
With nothing in between,
No planets or stars
No life
No light.
Situational dormancy.

I think I see a light in the distance,
Or a spark
That flickers for a second
Then recedes again into the dark.
A flame where no fire exists
Snuffed and suffocated
Within clenched fists.

The sheets soak up the sweat
And in the morning it is always cold.
I am alone.
I go to the case and try its lock
But my mind is adamant,
It is not ready for me yet,
I am an annoyance to it.
I am left to self administer,
To self heal -
A lesser seen form of self harm.
I am a fish that has slipped its hook
But not one that is free,
One that is lost, a dead planet
No light
No life.
The nighttime is always cold.

The light flickers again
But I am too late to see it.
A moment of heat, I feel its presence
Then return to inspirational vacancy
Where time in space is ever missed,
A beginning where beginnings end,
An end where no beginning exists

Copyright Marc Hawkins 2016

The Sun is the Father, strictly ablaze.
The Moon is the Mother, serenely benevolent.
Mercury is the Child, innocently babbling.
Venus is the Sister, beautifully affectionate.
Mars is the Brother, stubbornly resilient.
Jupiter is an Elder Man, wizenedly kind.
Saturn is Elder Woman,  knitting wisdom.
Uranus wields the Hammer of Change.
Neptune plays the Harp of Dreams.
Pluto swings the Blade of Strife.

All Nodes have a written destiny...

'Cause when I say, "Go to sleep,"
It means, "I love you."
Or when I tell you to eat,
That means, "Hey I care."
When you tell me that you love me,
and,
I call you an idiot,
That's me saying it back but with the equivalence of stupidity.
You are the reason I stay awake at night and dream with my eyes open,
You are the stars in my dark sea that I have been constantly trying to drown myself in,
You are,
For Gods sake's,
My Planet Earth because what else is going to supply me the oxygen I need when my brain says,
"Don't breathe."
You make me not want to die when all I could think of is dying cause you know,
Depression.
You are my alarm clock to when I sleep in,
My everyday phone call,
My back up plan when my back up plan needs a back up plan.
There are a billion of people out here that could have chosen me to deal with but you,
You at least tolerate me.
Thank you for the tolerance, at least.

If space and time
were to entwine
I'd loop through
the galaxies
with fantasies
infinite times
in my mind

Over stars and black holes
comets and planets
If only time and space
were to entwine
infinity would turn
into my everyday