I'll clench my teeth until they break
Before I ever let it out.
I'll clamp it shut as they crack and shatter before I utter a word of the pain.
I'll bite through my tongue before you hear me say how bad it hurts.
I won't give that to you.
I won't give it to anyone.
I woke up to the fact that I've been compartmentalizing people.
Sectioning off different aspects of their personality and treating them like strangers.
As if they aren't just one and the same.
It's gotten me in trouble to fall in love with
The good you's and developing too much leniency for the bad you's.
Almost ignoring the bad altogether.
But sometimes we have to put it altogether to accurately make an assessment on someone's character and if we really love them,
And even if you really love them,
Is it safe for you to love them?
I can't hide from the whole anymore.
Its gotta be all or nothing.
I tried to love you with everything I had.
My love stirred up the darkness,
Shined a light and
Woke up your demons..
They didn't want love from me..
And one day I realized
Its because they wanted love
And if the depths of my painful screams could echo loudly enough, booming like sonic waves throughout the universe,
they'd ripple out and shred tears in the dimension to bring forth a timeline where
I never lost you to begin with.
I wish I could take it all back
I'm so desperate for peace
That a part of me
Is tempted to do something
Drastic to get it.
Like jump off a building
Thinking I'll fly.
Its eating me.
I have a wishbone
Where my backbone should be
And I bend over backwards, snapping myself in half,
Trying to manifest my dreams.
I don't know how I developed such a spineless way
Of walking through this life,
But I know I need to get a grip,
and charge forth towards the sky.
Take the risk.
I will rip out every key to every door you think or ever thought that you had access to.
I will go down the line.
Slowly turning each lock,
As I whisper under breath,