I wonder if anyone else inhales the smoke, dipped in the smell of burnt ashes and pollution.
Breathing it in and holding it
Almost hoping I am just taking another notch into my chopping block.
It doesn't get rid of the search for answers though does it?
I will continue to drink to burn the questions out of my throat,
I will inhale smoke and hope that some how, when it clears,
That I'll feel like my life has escaped this muggy fog that lingers in my head.
I won't have to continuously keep my tired eyes open on the stars,
I won't contemplate what's beyond the clouds and the sky.
I just want my mind to stop running.
Stop my heart from fearing what's next.
I just want some freedom from all this
For as long as I need that to be.
I have read articles stating that we are light beings from somewhere beyond this plain.
I have been told my whole life that I am made in God's image.
I have read that maybe we have multiple lives we have yet to live and have already lived.
I have also been told we came from apes and tadpoles
Or that we were created by a gigantic explosion in space.
Some even say we came from nothing and will return to nothing.
All I know to be true is that I hope that no matter how I was created
No matter how I came to be,
That I hope that it was worth making me.
Please tell me that this isn't all the life I get because this just is not enough for my soul to feel fed.
Let me age with grace and good God or Goddess,
take me somewhere I can finally be felt on a level that this mortality limits.
I need a love and a passion deeper than this soul can already feel.
I need to be home and I might not have a single memory of where my spirit was born
but I sure as hell know it will never be Earth.
NOTE to the judges:
Before you judge me,
for being too thick, too thin
too manly or too feminine
too shy, too wild
too dark or too white
too simple, too fake
By no means, your piece of cake.
too short or too tall
Never enough, giving it all.
My net worth, before you guess,
I thought I'd just let you know this.
" I wasn't born to please your eyes,
I was born to be magic in disguise."