I am hurt by you.

I am hurt that I cared more about getting to know what lies beneath your skin.
(Than You did)
I am hurt that you made me feel things I haven’t felt since Him.
(Feelings I didn’t know I was capable of again)
I am hurt that you touched the places that others have been too scared to touch.
(The places that I am too scared to open up)
I am hurt that you lead me to believe that you care more about what my body can give to yours.
(Like all the rest do)
I am hurt that I believed your broken promises.
(Excuses, excuses)
I am hurt that I wanted to trust You, and only You with the most valuable thing I could offer.
(The thing that has been shattered time and time again)
I am hurt because I thought I finally found someone who valued me enough.
(Your actions say the opposite)

But I am grateful for you.
Because you showed me exactly what I will no longer tolerate.
That I am capable of connection, vulnerability, and true intimacy.
Things that I thought had died within me years ago.
Things now, that only someone worthy will receive one day.

Giant golden orb, primed,
the Scorpions tail delivers her blow
And I, in futile preparedness,
crushed between her barb and the centaurs insecure rage.
Unabashed love the second casualty
as Mars raised his sword 3 times and struck with Aries force,
a tsunami into gentle waters.
Later the fish, the fish in the whirlpool,
he chewed mercilessly,
he was not hungry for flesh but for innocence
and he feasted to corruption.
And I, with bitter hopefulness,
purged the fish through one way inverse fury.
Adrift at sea, the second god of war,
carried to lucent quartz shores,
captured the tsunami for his salvation, dragging her to the desert.
And I, all watery doggedness, laboured for her a thorny oasis
from which the second god of war was banished.
Whence fair daughter of Gaia in refined tenderness,
delivered the gift between life and language,
Blushing song of refuge.

Lake-wet and found forgiving,
patch-work body and pasture-raised pleasure,
rolling in the grass and basking in
bare-skinned clarity.
They were right, you are a fairy.

Water filled to the brim, may I drink from your fountain,
may I toss my pennies in,
and is a wish like a prayer,
or should I save my change for rain?
Filling puddles like copper lakes,
putting a snake in for Heaven's sake,
splitting my own rib and calling it mate.

When I first saw you it was just your reflection,
you caught my attention, doubling your beauty with your liquid presence.
I asked if I could come in and take a dip in your drip,
you nymphaeum of bliss,
and you said "Yes, yes but not yet.",
like the breath we share before a kiss,
like the moment before sunset,
like the bed unmade around our shapes,
like the ripples our forms in this pool radiate.

I must grow gills because you took the breath right out of my lungs.

Love me, Pisces, Venus smiles for us.