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Illya Oz Apr 2018
I miss you,
But I know you don't.
I wish you would,
But I know you won't.

I miss your (pained) smile,
And the way that you walked.
The way you (never) really,
Listened when I talked.

I miss the words your said,
Your advice I would (never) need.
How when we walked,
You would always (make me) lead.

I miss the way you (didn't) acknowledge me,
How you were always three steps ahead.
The way you would (never) hug me,
No matter what I said.

I miss you,
And I will forever.
It's ok if you forget me,
As I know our bond will never sever.
Ever since I was 7 my older brother has suffered from a type of OCD that is contamination oriented and unfortunately their OCD sees me as the source of the contamination. Because of this I have not been able to see my brother or have contact with them for over 2 years and even before that we had a very strained relationship. This poem is about the feeling of both loving and hating someone but still missing them for both reasons.
Amanda Sharpley May 2016
I am
the porcelain doll
I had as a little girl: fair,
fragile and lifeless.

I exist
only in limbo;
between grey and black,
between fighting and releasing.

All of the mirrors
have turned into shattered frames.
Every picture
houses a strange woman
whose gaze I dare not meet.

At what point
do the haunted,
become the ghouls?        

This house
no longer feels a home,
just an orderly sanctuary
for a disorderly soul.
I am a prisoner
in a pretty palace,
in which I am self-imposed.          

Is there
a sadness so great,
it cannot be tamed?

And if
I should disintegrate
from this very spot, into ash?
I am not a phoenix I fear,
but a sparrow.
Kellin Apr 2018
I've always loved to test the limits,
 to push a bit to far.
Such as when I stare at old scars
pondering just how deep I could pry  them open, to see how far I can go before I slip into that abyss, to see how much it would take to fill this
void
Caitlyn Emilie Mar 2018
It doesn't take back all the unforgiving words I've said, while I stand beneath the scorching water of the shower head.

Gentle kisses to my skin, a sting that feeds my adrenaline.

I'm just a stupid moth being drawn to the flame.

I get hurt, yet I still play the game.

She uses me and makes me feel empty.

I'm living in the carved out body of the person I used to be.

The mask I wear perceives the illusion that I am happy.

The loneliest I've ever felt when I hold her body in my hand.

Every night, she lures me into her trap like quicksand.

And I bleed for her again.
It’s 5am and I can’t sleep, so decided to write since it’s been a while..
Kellin Mar 2018
Swollen eyes in 6am light
6 wine bottles sing an empty song
Thoughts I never confide

Yet, still you'll kiss the tips of my fingers
as I reach for the keys
because you know somewhere buried deep
You'll water this love at the roots
And I will rot the leaves
Em Quinn Mar 2018
the scars on my knuckles.

the scars on my knuckles,
pink and raw and sometimes holding little white mountains,
in which the fingers of my left hand like to climb.
at each crevice a river of deceit forms,
a new story i create.

you see-
the scars on my knuckles were made,
in a battle with a sleek white polar bear.
we faced off on an arena of ice, bearing nothing but hands as weapons.
definitely.
my palms held hurricanes,
they destroyed everything in their path.
i won, of course, but not without struggle.
plenty of struggle...

the scars on my knuckles appeared,
after having fallen into a thorn bush.
furious needles scraped away my skin and left their mark.
it was a journey to rescue a soccer ball.
clearly i was a hero,
and well-
i had used my hands... as a shield to my face.
totally did that.

a wall has formed along the border of my mind,
keeping thoughts and reality at a distance for fear of war...
of scaring them.
knuckles holding a pink sadness,
a vulnerability,
introduced to me on a red night in november.
a clenched fist sang as it rammed its sorry skin into cement.
sea foam scrubs holding me to the ground,
restraint.
a jail cell made up of kind words and soft hands.

i'm sorry.
november was a rough month.
Rebecca Sorenson Mar 2018
There was a time where I lost myself,
where I got stranded in the darkness,
the sea swallowing me whole

Its hands gripping at me,
desperate to keep me under,
for as long as possible

It was violating,
my skin was flaking off,
and the sea was licking it up

I was getting strangled,
the angels in the darkness,
they only watched and pointed

I was paying the price,
for what, no one knows

I prayed,
I prayed,
I prayed

And after months of being strangled,
of losing myself, repeatedly,
I still have the marks,
and I can no longer fully be myself
Em Quinn Mar 2018
if i took my life,
the clouds would continue to form,
and the earth would still spin like it always has.
every day,
millions of children would take millions of buses to millions of schools,
and no one would know my name or my story.
no one would care enough to try to learn it.

if i took my life,
they'd light a candle or two in memory,
but only for a day.
girls with fake tears would claim they cared about me.
i had never talked to them before.
still, they'd lie.

if i took my life,
every flower would continue to grow,
every tree would still stand tall.
every child would look up into their mother's eyes, just the same as always.
the world wouldn't change because of another death, another loss.
and i'd be happier.

happier than i am now, at least.
i've had a rough couple days.
Kellin Feb 2018
You take me apart with every touch
These walls of reserve crumble like sand with each caress, with every breath

I beg you take me, unravel me
I reach out for you
As I disintegrate, but touch nothing but empty hands.
Andrew Ewen Feb 2018
I've experienced OCD, anxiety and depression.
I've been in the depths of despair.
There have been times where I'm always afraid something terrible will happen.
There have been many nights where I've doubted I will wake up in the morning.
Days where I constantly do routine after routine, making me feel mentally exhausted.
Wondering if my life will always be like this, if I'll always be worrying for the rest of my life.
The best way to describe it, is I was in constant fear.
If you want to enjoy your life, face your fears and stand up to them.
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