OCD is a mind wreaking thing
that starts slow
just like a rollercoaster
but as soon as we think,
it's the end here,
there is another up and down motion
that controls our head.

It goes out of control
and the kind of restlessness,
it gives, is nobody can think of.
To think beyond its web,
becomes next to impossible.

You lose your sleep or either sleeps a lot
just to hide from the fears that lingers in your head.
Every breath ends with a sigh!
It's horrible!
I have felt it that's why I know it.

Your texts brought with them
Little busts of joy
I'm sorry I acted so coy.
Reading those words;
"I love you"
Boosted my self-esteem.
If I could be loved by you,
Then I'm worthy to be loved.
But then you destroyed me,
And now I constantly seek love and approval
From sources that don't even matter to me.
And that *****!

When it rains look for rainbows
When its dark look for stars
Some people are just pure magic
You were the one that made me realize you aren't
Some people leave footsteps in your heart
You left me breathless
I found what I loved
Letting you in
Am I stuck in the past
In love with what could've been
But still all you left me with was a broken girl
And Bruises
Like lilacs beneath my skin

“Would you like to guide my inspiration?” He asked
“For sure, can you write about the dark?
Where sadness stays and colors tend to be grey
But of course blue and darker shades
Also found their shelter warm & safe

Can you write about its beauty?
Sadness is too attractive to me
His deep husky voice, his haunting look
His mystery tattoos, the way he move
His long fingers, his thick, shining hair
Stimulating my desire of keeping him all just for me

And in his kingdom of darkness
He nurtures me as his only mistress
Where he treats me as the utmost queen
Where my fear, anger, nervousness
Seen the highest, unconditional love of him

Can you write about our story?
To tell the world how magical loving sadness can be
When he spreads his warm, enchanting blanket
And covers me a long, sweating sleep
Any girls searching for an escaping gate
Will probably falling fast
Into his world of dreamy lust

But can you save me from him?
“cause there is another me screaming-ing-ing
She wants to run away with you, the poet
And live in real life, have real dream
Of waking up together after a wildest physical love
Of kissing passionately by the sea
While wind & wave perform their utmost soft music
To celebrate our beautiful love affair.

One day,
I thought about you.
The next day,
I iust can't stop.
The day after that,
you haunt my dreams.
A week later,
My are around your lifeless body.
A week after that,
I found a new one,
And turned you to ashes.

It's me, the master of never letting go,
and yet I let you slip, you kept me for
show, and to prove your theory about
                me
             + a bit of confidence
             = you
said you wouldn't want to miss it
and that's a reason to stay.

It's me, the master of never letting go,
I was kept for show and stole it, got burned
yet returned, listened to, not understood,
the one who always sticks around, now
I look both ways crossing streets, managed
to become an end to the means.

It's me again, I'm tired, was held in a cage
that promised flight, the sun never changed
directions, it's a never-ending sight, like
a movie set, except this time I'm a side
character and there are no extras.

It's me, the master of never letting go.
Is anyone listening? It's fine if you aren't.
This one is not about the show.