For the love of God
Or karma
The force
Whatever it is that exists out there
Wash this away

Wash away
The melancholic numbness
The sadness that I can't express
Even if I try
To force myself to cry

Wash that feeling
Into the concrete
And leave in my place
A girl
Emptied and free
One who has no knowledge
And no fear
Of this life
Or the next

I'd like to dissolve in legends and myths,
Including the cosmic swirl within.
My fingertips, with light they rage,
I spin the planets at a steady pace,
My skies a canvas of gleaming futures and hopes.
I am mystery, I am beautiful;
No tearing comet will brings me tears,
And I know many things without the existence of fear.

But,
This is all I know:
I know this is a tale.
I am devoid but of a void,
An empty black hole
******* up all that shines.
The stars are dying and burning up early
And the world, I cannot control.

Because my sun's days end too soon
And quickly sets to rise the moon,
And the golden rays meet their doom.
The universe is not mine to keep.
It is merely there to show me all
I cannot do.

Its morning,
And the clouds are filling up my lungs
But I don’t want to breathe today.
I just want to stay in bed,
let my covers smother me.

I don’t want to speak today
Ill just let my pillows feed me lies.
Its okay to give up on living but still be alive
Ill just watch the world as it keeps on spinning
But behind.

I don’t want to walk today.
I can’t handle the ground kicking me back to weak,
Ill just rest my knees on the stained mattress
that has lured me to believe all I have is
sleep.

There’s a feather in the sky,
And I watch until it falls to my feet,
Ill pick it up to brush off the sheet of dust
That has gathered on my tired, tired cheek.

Its morning again,
I don’t want the sun to rise-
Today it burns like failed tries
Ill suffocate my skin in sweet perfume,
To hide the smell of decaying, empty fume.

Have you ever felt like you can't breathe?
Like your chest is suffocating, or your ribs turned into plastic bags, holding it all in.

And have you ever felt like you're breaking?
Like every fibre of you is coming apart, every bone in your body is shattering and you're becoming a mass of blood and muck.

Have you ever had so much noise in your head that you don't know what's going on any more? That all you've ever known is going away and there's nothing taking its place...
Not noise because you've got too much on your mind; noise because there's nothing there at all.

And then, after all that, have you ever known silence?
Absolute silence surrounding you, taking you over till you can't even hear your own heart beat. Maybe because it's not there any more...
Absolute nothingness and you don't know what to do.
Complete quiet
Complete loneliness
Complete hollowness

*Have you ever?

That's why I haven't told you I love you still.
I'm too scared of the outcome.
Have you moved on completely?
Are you entirely happy with her now?

These are questions I'll never get answer to because of the simple fact that I'm too frightened to tell you that after all these years,
I'm still hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you.

K R W

Sadness is worn in many shades
Fringed at the edges, rough to the touch
This is the brand everyone hates to love
I model misery with a sickly laugh,
While my eyes imitate what I've seen of the dark.

The suffocation of sorrow
The throb of numbness replacing your heart's job
And filling your veins with lead
I wear fabrics of sharp prickly thorns
And the mocking costume of a smile,
While my eyes imitate the dead.

i was just like a cigarette
waiting to be flicked
passed around
and tossed, when finally burned

i was just like a cigarette
filled with novocaine
designed to keep numb
like a distraction
used to escape, what is now

i am just like a cigarette
useful whilst burning
and useless when burned out