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Deeee May 2023
I feel like the day you break my heart
Will be monumental
It will be a threshold in my life
How I handle all of it, process it
Where it finds me and leaves me

The incredible ease with which our talks flow
Like we have the same scripts
The way your eyes cut through me like a hot knife in butter
The way your voice rings through me like the chimes in the pipes of an *****

I am convinced I am dreaming
A lucid dream from a hit I don't remember taking
I'm not sure sometimes that you're the same one in reality
If you just carry the face of the man in my mind

So I'm waiting for the day
The day you break my heart
But until then.....
Leave nothing behind.
Deeee Mar 2023
I tried to write today.

Instead I cried.

To be more honest, I clasped my hands together so tight that I could've broken my knuckles. I squeezed my eyelids together till I could almost feel my eyeballs pop into my brain.
No tears came.

I tried.

I really tried.

But all I got was deep dry heaving and bruised knees because I suddenly lost all the strength in them.
I choked on nothing.
I opened my mouth wide, but my voice box remained sealed.

Nothing. Came.
Deeee Feb 2023
I've been to many places
I've been around many people
I've been many people

I worry that I may lose sight one day
Maybe I already have
Maybe I am nobody
Maybe I am nowhere

Some places still feel like home
Some things still feel like home
Some people still feel like home

That must mean that I still know what home feels like
What it smells like
What it looks like
Who it looks like

I still know where home is
Deeee Nov 2022
Oh, my love
What shall I do with you?

My magical dust
My mythical king
My dreamland prince.

My love...
How shall I live with you?
my death.
How shall I live without you?
my breath.

My love, oh my love...
What shall I do with you?
Deeee Apr 2022
I miss you

So much that sometimes it burns.
Sometimes it feels like the void of you will **** me someday.
On the days I am graced with silence, it's still too loud.

It's so



I wish I could call out to you...
Like some signal.
Reach you...
Like a sonar

I wish I could be with you.
I wish I could stop thinking about you.


I just wish...

...I could love you.
Deeee Apr 2022
If all you'd known
Your whole life
Was dark clouds
Icy rain
And violent wind

If all you'd seen
Your whole life
Was grey skies
Dull days
And cold nights

And then
Like magic

A crack appears in the sky
A light seeps through the clouds
A warmth touches my skin
softly, like a blanket
slowly, like an ember
surely, like it was meant for me

Like the sun burns in the initials of my name
Like the heatwaves sing songs of my name
Like the power of it all courses through my veins
Like the purpose of its creation was all in my name

And then

hearing thunder again.
Deeee Apr 2022
It was the sharpest pain I had ever felt
Nothing like any other

I felt my bones shatter
My lungs collapse
My sight fade
Fade into red

I could feel everything
Yet there was nothing
I could hear screaming
Yet there was silence

I could taste.....blood

Running down my face
Coursing through my veins
Leaking everywhere

I questioned everything
"How am I even alive?"
Am I?

Am I?.
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