I wore our relationship like an old noose
Because I liked the feeling of the heaviness , the feeling of my breath slowly escaping me
But it was always my fault.
Your words spit fire leaving my heart aching
Your hand print rests on my skin as a reminder that I was wrong.
I apologize that I keep falling apart before your glue has time to dry.
But I’m tired and ashamed
My glue doesn’t want to stick anymore
I have kissed boys
Girls
People in between but lately
I’ve been kissing bottles
Their lips are colder than yours
The blade that kisses my wrist reminds me that I’m not alone Because I would rather bleed to know I’m alive then try to pick myself back up for you, but , I apologize for my broken heart.

Am I not good enough
Will I never have the strength
To stand within your army
Or must I stand beside your enemy?
Could I never be bright enough
To shine as a star
In your lonely night sky
Or must I cloud your vivid days?
Is my hug not warm enough?
My kiss not soft enough?
My love not strong enough?
To be enough for you.

Am I not strong enough
To rest your heart on
When it is too heavy
For you to bear alone?
Is my mind not as good
Or strong
as to lift your thoughts
When they drown your mind?
Is my world not yours?
Can you not breathe my air?
Or do you choose to stay away
When I change it for you?

If I altered my world
Despite the terms
Of my own survival
Just to ensure yours
Would I then be enough
For you to stay?
Could I ever be yours?
The reason for your smile?
The sparks in your eyes?
My loss: your only fear.
Or I am destined to always be
So near and far from enough?

It's funny.
If there was one thing
people could agree on,
It's that we didn't have enough time.
But now that we have all the time
In the world, we're slowly
losing our minds

I can’t compete with someone like her
I’ll just be a misfit then
because I ain’t
changing for you

as much as you give
to other people
still
it won't be enough

you're not here
to please them

you're here
to please yourself

they don't own you
you own yourself

put faith in yourself

i'm sorry that i'm not enough
i'm sorry you thought this was love
i'm sorry my walls are too tough
i'm sorry i threw down the glove
i'm sorry my edges are rough
i'm sorry when push came to shove
i'm sorry was never enough

Have you thought to check up on me?
Have you thought about me?
Have you left your own head?
Or are you leaving me for dead?

Life’s crazy, huh?
Full of false accusations
Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you’ll act on it
Sometimes it’s better to shove emotions into the darkest place in your mind

I hope for the best but expect the worst
Am I a realist?
Or depressed?
Or just seeking attention?

All things considered, I shouldn’t be here
My mother should have aborted me and lived her life
But now she has me
Gods, I’ve caused her so much pain

One of these days, I’ll have to courage
To cut slightly too deep
To jump off the ledge
To pull the trigger

But for now, I take my anger and emptiness out on my flesh
Gray creating red
Moonlight shining through my window
As I hide what I’ve done

It’s not like I’m ashamed
I just don’t want to disappoint them
Everyone thinks so highly of me
It’d be best if I just disappeared

Like I never existed

The red stains my clothes as it soaks through
Creating wet spots on a black surface
Wearing dark colors hides the blood
Hides my true emotions

My true intentions.

I was filled with passion
On a mission
To fullfill what I thought was possible
I planned
Did everything that I can

People, times like this
When you did your best effort
And in the end, it is not enough
****, it will hurt
It will ******* hurt, I tell you