do you believe in haunted dreams? not nightmares but haunted dreams.. because I do. and that’s because you haunt mine. every moment of them.
and you haunt my reality. every waking second is filled with the need to reminisce. even when I run your scent just seems to follow. to escape into any type of solitude would grant my unspoken wish.
so I sleep.
but even then my dreams are tinted with the feeling of nostalgia. yet it is not from anything I can recall.. to be missing something I never had at all is a special kind of hell. you’ve tainted my dreams as though you’ve put me under a spell. and it’s weakened me. leaving me screaming upon deaf ears I wonder if my voice will make it out of this fog you’ve brought.
everything is clouded with the abyss of you.
you’ve tinted my dreams in the color of you. drugged me and got me hooked. now if my dreams aren’t tinted with you, they’re nothing but bare black walls.
“ That was insane how you ended it 🤯 from start to finish I was intrigued and steady wanting to read more, although the person was expressing themselves, the vivid imagery you presented through your careful choice and placement of words painted a clear motion picture I could truly get lost in, hella deep and very impressive no bap, you snapped...” - a response to my poem..
I wish I could cut my brain into pieces and not as a last resort. Cut out the sadness, the bad memories, the part that never listens, all of it. The person looking back in the mirror is more than willing to give up anything as a sacrifice.
I see you and I see a mix of thousands of emotions trying to get out, but all that you can manage to show me is your depression. You are an amazing woman, you put on a smile all day and come home trying to resist the urge to cut. And I'm not much help, I can only text you every so often and I can't talk to you face to face and show you what I feel for you. I'm just one of the small emotions swirling in the mass of them in you head and heart.
I had a friend since third grade. A friend who will remain nameless for the sake of a promise. She was my best friend With adventure never to end Until she left for a new adventure Then I had a new state to venture Until we decided to get in touch But maybe it was a little to much When we decided long distance She was my existence But then she told me her story And though it was a bit gory It made us closer But I felt like a poser When I couldn't talk I had to walk With the thought That it was heartbreak I taught Until I sent her a text And then a next Trying to get back what we had, Hope, but the attempt was bad Cause she told me we were done But in the long run I miss her
Monsters crawl in the dark crevices in my brain. Let me go! Leave! I'm so tired! Do you know what it's like reader? Your eyes scan these words but do you understand? Young girl, boy, old woman, man, do you? I wish I knew if you could relate. Do you know what it's like to exist in a world that doesn't exist. The real world is just outside but I can't escape my own. Monsters are everywhere. Seeping in, scratching at my door. I let them in every time. They simply tell me to. I can't escape.. I want all thoughts to leave my mind and let me be. I want to go back and not be so alone. I felt so alone. That is why I created the monsters. Only to keep me company. I was a lonely child. Everyday I would wake alone. Every night I would sleep alone. I was alone. I was a lonely child. Loneliness in turn raised me. It nurtured the monsters. The monsters shaped me. I wish I could go back and not be alone. Loneliness is deadly. I was lonely for too long. I was lonely for too long.
This poem is about what it feels like to have maladaptive daydreaming disorder.