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there’s a reason
i haven’t kept
my photos of her
within reach.
yet, i watch myself
get torn apart
on the pixelated screen
of dreams long lost.

i’m on my knees
begging my brain
to stop doing this to me.

she's not coming back.

love should know better,
than to dress itself in cruelty.
this one is about wondering how can any love be a sin.
July 26, 2025
i wear his shirt,
long-sleeve, pale grey,
too wide at the wrist.
it still smells like him.
like oak, sleep, fresh rain
and the breath before the kiss.

i'm terrified.
that my own scent
will settle, and claim
what history stitched.

i'm holding onto it,
as if this is the last embrace
he'll ever give me.
maybe it is.
this one is about the feelings we borrow, and never return.
July 24, 2025
Hailey Jul 20
Dear mom,
I’m a mother myself now.
A mother to a little boy and girl,
and both of them are just like me,
and everyday they remind me
that I was never the problem.
As your daughter I forgive you, but
as a parent I will never understand.

-I am breaking the cycle
ProfMoonCake Jul 17
I have asked God for thousands of wishes,
None of them were you,
God is adamant too-
She says I’ll only grant the ones
that have no trace of you.
eliana Jul 15
Someone once told me,
"You’re shining. Even if it doesn’t always feel that way."
I in fact, have been feeling that way.

I sit and think about all the pain and problems I've gone through.
Thinking before, "I'm so done. What am I gonna do.??"
I now say to myself "I am so strong for keeping up and fighting my hardest. "

"I'm
so
proud
of
you."
To that person, you know who you are. Thank you for your kind and meaningful words. They have helped me more than you know.
Vien Jul 9
I’ve dreamed of her twice.
Not the vague kind where faces blur into fog—
but her.
Clear. Real.
As if my heart projected her onto the reel of sleep.

The first time was quiet.
She was there like a hum in the background,
a warmth I didn’t want to lose.
I didn’t reach for her.
But I felt her.

The second time stayed longer.

Her friends were goofing off,
throwing playful karate kicks into the air.
I joined them, green belt pride in my chest.
But my leg slipped—
and I hit her by accident.

Right on the chest.

My heart dropped.
I ran to her side,
whispered,
"I'm so sorry… does it hurt? I didn’t mean to."

Then I hugged her.
Tightly.
Like I was afraid I’d never get the chance again.

She didn’t pull away.
She held me.
Softly, calmly.
Said it was okay.

Her friends walked away.
But we stayed.
Wrapped in silence.

I started to let go.
But she pulled me back.
Tighter.

And so I hugged her again.
Even tighter.

That’s when I woke up.
Blushing.
Breathless.
My heart still hugging her.
I miss her so much
the space in my mind
is occupied by your entity,
merging with mine.
you pose as a false god,
painting me the enemy –
demanding a sacrifice
each time i resist
your quiet reign.

i enabled it.
let you have your fun.
called it inspiration,
called it love.
called it anything
but what it was.
of all my failures,
you were the most toxic one.

i gave you everything –
piece by piece.
you’d cover my mouth
to silence the plea
whenever i sought shelter,
with hands, trembling,
still tied to a bottle
you call the cure.

you smother what’s left of me –
dressed in ebriety,
hiding the abuse.

and i need to say goodbye.
not because i want to.
but because I’ve had enough.
of you hurting me,
of you driving me
to hurt myself.
you’re costing me everything,
and the loss is exorbitant.

i’m not just saying goodbye to you.
you’re exiled.
your velvet threats,
your sugar-coated grip –
banished.
it hurts me more
than you think.
but this time, it’s final.
because i’m not ready
to see the aftermath
if it isn’t.
this one is about the last fight.
july 7, 2025
she’s standing next to me
the riffs crawl slowly
under her skin,
tunes reaching
something long buried
within.

the sky thickens
with sentient air —
as if we’re sitting
in a drive-through
watching us on the screen.

even the town
is under her spell,
its nightlife dimmed,
and out of the way.

she smells like
imponderable winter air.
with a glance,
she lifts me up
and breaks me
in one breath.

her eyes —
the sea after storm.
my gaze drifts
to her mouth.
her words linger,
honey-crumbed,
after a bite.

a phone chimes —
mine.
i know
i have to go.

‘find your way back to me,’
i think.
i hope.

my heart aches,
she feels it, too.
i’m not ready
to say goodbye.

but i do.
this was written as a short story in 2015. i met a wonderful girl, who ended up moving back to Denmark. this was written about our last night together, and our goodbye, as we stood in front of M&S in Oxford, on Queen Street, under the lit-up Christmas lights, with someone playing guitar in the distance.
July 5, 2025
mahnoor Jul 3
thought i'd move on,
like i always did.
cry for a week,
bounce back quick.
one after an other,
oh, how splendid.
is it that hard to move on?
"skill issue", i said.

Now i sit here,yearning,
wondering to myself,
why cant i just forget?
like i always did.
i catch myself smile,
thinking about all the goofy stuff we did.
how we said we'd buy a hundred cats,
oh, how we dreamt.

we'd laugh together on the phone,
hours pass by.
you ask me if i love you,
i laugh, nervous and shy.

you said,if we ever part,
i'll be the one to leave.
but,baby, your love never lived,
just like the promises you keep.

i gave you a piece of me,
a piece too dear.
so no wonder why i'm so empty,
without you near.
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