To everyone waiting to see me fail
I came to let you all know
That this soul ain't for sale
I'm sure you enjoy the show
But this sure isn't for you
It's all for me and I'm all in
You don't know what I've gone through
And you sure don't know where I've been
I've been in the deep end
I've gone through hell once or twice
Enough to know that I'll bend
But won't break in this life
And I spill it all in these lyrics
I'll sing and scream loud as I can
To make sure you hear it
And know I've become the man
That I want to be
But we all know
No matter what we see
There's room to grow
So I search for my answers
I continue to strive
To cure these old cancers
That try to eat me alive

I threw away all my dignity, I decided it wasn't worth a fight. Spent to long trying, praying that I'd get it right.

I took a match and caught that tree, that shaded marriage vows. Watched it go up in flames, and found the strength to walk away some how.

I bandage the wounds left from you, cut by that blade of poisoned lies. Took the knife out of my back, now I'm severing any ties.

I sewed my lips shut with straps of leather, that once belonged to you. I packed my bags and filled my pockets, in hopes of something new.

I carved Divorce into the wall, with the shattered shards of whats left of me. I took that blindfold off my eyes, so I now can clearly see.

To the one who has my heart,

I love you.
I love you as deeply as the deepest trench,
As vastly as the expanse of the universe,
As greatly as the highest mountain.
I love you so much
I have been consumed by it,
I have been swallowed by its tidal waves,
I have been dried up by its arid air,
I have been devoured by its rabid hunger.

I love you.

But I'm realizing,
I love me more,
And me loves me back;
I breathe life into myself,
I inflate and empower and embolden me;
I am neither consumed nor weakened;
I am on top of my own mountain tops,
Cooled down by my own streams,
Tackling the corners of the universe.

Sincerely,
Yours truly,
I will always love you,
But I choose me.

Touching the
     curves of my mind
   Fabrications of
        missing pieces
Too many
    troubles left behind
            Filled with ugliness,
   and bitter diseases
       Thoughts are somewhat
scrambled
             Yet I know I'm thinking clearly
        Sometimes
Life is a gamble
         Gotta roll the dice
     To reach your destiny
I cry too much,
           Of that I'm sure
     I could blame it on
            Anxiety
         Or all the unjust hurts
****** upon me
      But in the end, I know
It's not what you can see
           It's where you go
And what you believe



I'm gonna start believing
         *in me

Why attempt to claim the moral high ground
When your pathetic argument holds no sway
Why march to war with the rebel bound
In the uncommon disposition of yesterday
Why hold pretentious personality
When acceptance is based on adaptation
A pyramid scheme brings fatality
To your pseudo-martyr nation
Unwarranted non cooperation
With the voices of the future
Speak without brainwashed sedation
And unravel your poisoned sutures
Your self proclaimed image of authority
Is unwanted within the confines of freedom
You back a mentality of all encompassing conformities
When the generation of today can't see them
Your hubris lacks the willingness to act
Yet you call yourself Ole-Times-Hardened
And the simple depressing fact
Is that your ignorance cannot be pardoned
Leave while you hold a handful of passion
Before it is lost in the folds of time
Because dignity with age is not everlasting
You are but another one track mind
Whether or not you care to move forward
The world turns on an invisible axis
There is always a new world order
And living life requires emotional taxes
So be willing to express and voice opinions wholly
But like many lost souls before you say
Wander unknown territories carefully
Because the past is lost with today

Memories.
Filling the void between realities.
Each of your words
A reverberating tune,
Telling me over and over
A twisted sense of your ego.

Surviving id all that I have after you.
Each movement.
Each breath.
Each thought,
All constantly calculated to fight for life.

Battle my eternal fear
As I stomach seeing your face.
Courageously push past your body,
Closing my eyes,

As if reality was just a nightmare,
As if your essence never once
Forced itself upon my skin.

No.

Your hands grasp blindly in the darkness,
And for now,
In my mind,
I am gone.

When you feel sunshine in your mind or rain in your bones
When you feel hatred in your bloodstream or love stab your heart
I will be there to assure you that it's real
and okay
and good or bad it'll pass
So either hang on tight or let it go
Ride the wave to the other side and if you crash
I will be the hand that pulls you out,
the sand is dry just a few feet away
and I will lead you back to solid ground