is this a joke
you're kidding me
right?
you're lying
you don't
love me
right?
you're messing with me
you're trying to make your friends laugh
just another funny story to tell
right?
i don't understand
this is
fake
it has to be

Cruel experiment.
You have made me blunder
You lured me and poured lust down my throat until
I could not tell my flesh apart from roaring magma.
When you made me feel like I had consumed stardust
And it bubbled within me with a burning passion.
It ravaged me; you ravaged me.
Cruel experiment you torment me still with wise lies.
Oh let me stab my eyes
Till I can see no more the mistakes
you have caused me.
And pull out my lungs
So I can no longer breathe the pungent fumes of my guilt.

The trail of destruction,
The silence of screams,
All of humanity,
Forgotten to dreams.

The silence of life,
That has become no more,
Haunts only the rocks,
And the broken sea floor.

The storms that once ravished,
Humanity’s home,
Now carry fire,
Melting even their stone.

The ground is all scarred,
Where the meadows once grew,
Just a crack in the surface,
Where rivers once drew.

Night and day,
No longer opposed,
The contrast of weather,
No longer imposed.

The passing of time,
Is no longer consistent,
The bonds of its measure,
No longer resistant.

The world is all quiet,
There is nothing to hear it,
Existence is lost,
While nothing can live it.

So the pain has all gone,
The tears have dried,
Humanity lived wrong,
Now the planet has died

Each time I shave my face,
I scrutinize with my eyes,
To look for my mistakes,
But my eyes, they fraternize,
With the enemy on my chin,
And so, too late,
When on a date,
I feel them with my fingers

I don't believe in mistakes
even as I watched you walk away
through a flood of tears
but if I did
you were my favorite

I wish I had known who was standing in front of me,
Before I had to watch him leave

I wish I could have gone a bit deeper, trust his intentions,
But when I’m scared all I listen to is my apprehension

I wish I was brave enough to give us a shot
and if you chose to let me go
i know it was just my fault.

And so it goes
Bracing myself for the worst,
going out of my way not to get hurt
Building enormous walls
and then beating myself up for it all

My only hope is that you know
You deserve all the love
I was reluctant to give you

Maybe someday, when we find our hearts to be relieved
from all the things that are troubling them
We can start all over again
far away from this pain

This was my miscalculation. I make many, nothing new.

I hope it’s not too late to make it up to you.