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rk Feb 2021
i begged myself not to say it
to keep the words
hidden tightly behind my lips
yet you drew them out
with each hungry kiss you stole
your name a prayer
i couldn't stop them forming
pushing their way out into existence

"i am so completely in love with you"

the moment they escaped i felt it
my breath catching in my throat
it was more of a question
than a confession
one that had been dancing
on the tip of my tongue for days

"me too, babe."

you barely let the words out
before greedily filling my mouth
with yours once more.

it wasn't your agreement
that gave me my answer
but the way that you expertly avoided
uttering the words
i needed to hear back to me.
Aer Feb 2021
life is too short to dwell on times past
yet every waking moment is spent with regrets for
half-truths, almost-friends, near-misses
of you         and I        and him      and her.
of two souls that had collided, only to fade back into
unknowns. back to strangers.

him     her.
near misses.
never      seen.
past surfaces.
missing    found.
of what could have
been.
we were just passing acquaintances, forgotten by time.
Sarah Flynn Jan 2021
I used to think that
if I took my own life,

the plants
would keep growing

and the sun
would keep rising

and the world
would keep spinning
without me in it.



and then I tried it.

I tried to escape
the only way that
I knew how to.



and when I did,

the plants
kept on growing

and the sun
kept on rising

and the world
kept on spinning
without me in it.



but my classes paused
while my teachers cried
at my empty desk

and my friends
didn't go to school
that day, or the next,
or the day after that

and my family
didn't eat dinner
because an extra plate
was put out on the table

and the little girl
who lived down the road
asked her parents why
I never walked by anymore

and her parents
looked at each other
with tears in their eyes
because they knew that
I'd never walk by again

and the cashier
at the bookstore who
barely even knew me
wondered why I didn't
come by that week

and the kid
who once bullied me
blamed himself for
what had happened

and the boy
who never spoke to me
hated himself for never
having the courage to

and my dog
grew old with gray fur
around his muzzle but
never stopped waiting
for me to come home.



I used to think that
if I took my own life,

the plants
would keep growing

and the sun
would keep rising

and the world
would keep spinning
without me in it.



I was right
about all of it.

the world
kept on spinning

but something
was missing

and people
were hurting

and there was a gap
where I used to be.
I know it wasn't what we both wanted.
But it felt like there was no other option.
I didn't want it to end us, but it felt like we were falling in slow motion.
A pit of emotions neither of us could comprehend.
Neither of us knew or could work out what we wanted.


But even if we're not as one, there's still a lot of love left.
I still see you in my mind when I close my eyes even for just a second.
It's sad that we couldn't figure out what we both kept doing wrong.
And I miss the way you looked and smiled at me, the way you touched and kissed me, when I laid next to you.


There's still a lot of love left, and I thought it'd be easy to leave it behind.
But I guess I was wrong, because I still want you til the end of time.


I wish we could make it work. The way we promised we would do.
Because there's still a lot of love left and will forever be for you.
MG Jan 2021
The only consistent thing about you is that you will always leave.
And I will always be the one who’s left hurt.
It would be a lie to say I haven’t missed you
After all this time apart.
Again, now I’m left.
Missing the pieces of myself that I built back together after you ripped my heart from my chest;
All because I thought missing you was worth the sacrifice.
It wasn’t.
It never will be.
Because you will always leave.
You will always hurt me.
I think I’ll always miss you but I miss myself more
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria
I am a captive
Taken from my home
Away from love and care
Now I live in fear
In the midst of the unknown
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
Oh! You have forgotten me, probably
I wouldn't blame you
I am just a girl, you thought
But I am Nigeria
And I could be just your girl
Yet you go to bed with both eyes closed
Because I am just a girl.
How do you sleep?
How do you find peace?
How do you laugh with satisfaction
And Find rest?
Knowing I am Leah Sharibu
And I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
Who is she? I can hear you ask.
Oh! You've forgotten?
I am that "Dapchi girl"
Kidnapped with her school mates
But they are free and I am not
They gained their lives back
Because they are what I am not
That's what some people thought
But I am not just "that Dapchi girl"
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria
And I am a captive
I am in chains
I am in bonds
I am in pains
And I am not free
I am still missing
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
I am a Christian
That's what you said
But I am more than a Christian
I am a girl child
I am a woman
I am a daughter
I am a mother
And I am a wife
But I am more than all these
Yes! I am
I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria
Though you called me a Christian
Undoubtedly I am
Was that not why you left me behind?
Was that not why you've left me till now?
How callous? How unpatriotic?
You swore an oath to protect me
But you lied
You think calling me a Christian
Will clear your conscience
But you lie!
I am Nigeria
That's my identity
I am Leah Sharibu

I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria
I have been betrayed
By Deceivers parading themselves as leaders
By cowards parading themselves as heroes
By liers who embraces you with a dagger
I have been betrayed
By enemies camouflaged as friends
I thought they cared about me
But all they want is a piece of me.
So they don't care if I bleed
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria
I am not missing
You can see me
But you've refused to free me
You've made me your slave
Everyday you **** me
Everyday you **** me
Everyday you brutalise me
Everyday you torment me
Despite the oath you swore to protect me
You have become my terror
My Kidnapper
My tormentor
My killer
My captor
My destroyer
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria
I can see, you don't care, who I am
You think I will just pass away
Like a shadow in the night
Another figure among the many lost
So you hope
But you lie
I am your fear
I am your shame
I am your story
Ugly but true
I am your cross
You must bear
I am your pain
And I won't go away
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria
You can **** me
But I won't die
Though ****** with many swords
And bleeding on all sides
You will always hear my cries
Because I live on....
You can try to hide me
Like a woman's nature call
But I won't go away
I will be your nightmare
And walk the night in your sleep
I will be your nemesis
And follow you to your grave
I will be your infamy
Lay you bare for the world to see
I will be the truth
That topples your lies
And I pray that I will be your end
So you'd be no more
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria

I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria
Another night has come
And I pray for sleep
Not knowing if I will see the dawning of a new day
You expect  me to be weak
To break down and fall
You expect me to be feeble and frail
But I won't
Everyday I see the sun
I will grow strong
Everyday I take a breath
I shall be agile able
Don't expect me to give up
For I shall win at last
I am Leah Sharibu
I am Nigeria.
Dedicated to Leah Sharibu the Christian girls still in Boko Haram Captivity and other girls held in captivity and have not been rescued by their government if Nigeria
Navi Jan 2021
Growing flower vines on the side of this empty house
It's been quite some time since I have seen this door
Since I have laid on this barren floor, it's so strange seeing that carpets face replaced
Feeling the ice of this hardwood floor
How nice it is to miss those memories.
Do you remember when we all laid out, making beds out of blankets because there was no room for us all
And yet we did not fit any other way, finding ways all over one another
Then someone would wake up with ranch on their face
Sleep over rules, my dear. The first to fall gets the joke  after all.
No one has tended to the flowers in a while but whos to say there has been anyone to take that place.
Remember when this used to be so colorful and over there we would scream our lungs out
Convince me that I could learn how to sing and now you wouldn't even hear my voice.
Yet this garden is so pretty.
Raining days would fill the fountains water edge and arise would come the cute babies of those flying bugs.
We confused them for tadpoles more days that not. How relaxing of a time those days were
Worrisome worries having no existence in that time of mind, at least in those moments.
I skipped quite a bit, like how with some silky pants you could go zooming down the stairs being lucky enough not to fall too hard.
The stairs were carpeted but those floors were not.
What memories safe place, where one thought she died and cried and screamed
And now it is nothing but a childish memory.
This house smells old, but still like home.
It's about time that I find home isn't it? With it's own pretty garden and this time my neighbors can hear something beautiful as we would sit outside and serenade the sky.
The flowers would bloom with such variety, colors everywhere!
My children would make explosions coming up and down the stairs, forgetting that walking exist
Sliding down staircases just like we did.
Create happier memories for the future that the past didn't have.
Perhaps this is learning to let go, forget all that no longer serves this body
No longer serves this mind, it's just taking up space. I would rather just cry, let the sea of dams release and find myself beneath the rivers sea.
Happiness sprouts from seeds and I am but a thousand flowers trying to grow at the same time
But all these different parts need different things, different soil, water and sunlight
Breathe
Maybe that is why I feel such butterflies around you and that smiles of yours
Oh, how they go crazy, making a mess of my insides
How did pollen get in my nose ? I'm allergic
Mirror appreciation shows change, from the days where those bags are so heavy
To where it seems like the glow has followed it's morning flow.
There is something to this growth.
Remember painting on the coffee table, so much art lost over the years of an overly educated child
Playing dumb to the world for strategy.
We do not "perfect" so it is right but to express accurately, to be frank this is the last place I want advice.
Claudius Jan 2021
You appeared in my intuition before you appeared before my eyes.
I could sense that we were wandering close enough to cross paths for a short amount of time.

But-

What I could not sense was how your presence would bring my heart to full capacity and for a few mere moments I would be drowning in my love for you instead of simply treading.

I could not see that the moment you walked out of the door, and looked at me one to many times, that the vacancy sign in my mind would flip on while my heart continued to deny anyone from checking in.

My intuition tried to prepare me but I suppose no one can ever be ready to see the one person that left them alone walk away once more.
Zywa Jan 2021
Your life still rustles
in me, in my mind

you think along with my questions
I hear remarks you once made

.....Your life still rustles
.....in me, in my feelings

.....you move along with my blood
.....I feel you flow through my heart

Your life  still rustles
at home, as if you were present

the warmth of your body
somewhere tangibly close

.....Sometimes your voice is there again
.....in the movies that make me feel

.....what it was like, but much further away
.....than when we watched them together

Your life still rustles
in the scents of the woods

taking me by surprise in the seasons
familiar in unexpected places
For Ineke Jansen #9

Collection “The Yellow House Museum”
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