What are you wanting?
I’d like to move on
Why are you wanting
Another one.
My heart does miss you
There’s a hole where you were
You awakened my spirit
And now you’re not there.
You’ll answer a call
And tell me you miss me
You’re still in your home
But dreaming of life with me
What am I wanting?
I need this resolved
I can’t do it illicitly  
That bothers my soul.
Almost a year on
And I still feel you with me
I want you to stand up
Take on responsibility.
Make your decisions
Make them out loud
Love me or leave me
Please decide now.
And if you decide,
That you will try loving me
Please know I’m a prize
I wont be so easy
I’d be willing to try
But not throw it in for you
You’d need to earn trust
And that may be tough to do.

your love is both
the shining altar
and the smoldering
gates of hell,
i dance between
like a woman possessed
unsure if you will save me
or devour me whole.

I can no longer hide
this feeling or silence.
With your touch and love,
affections seize warmth.
My soul ignited.

Once disparaged
estranged to another.
But with these distances,
coupling unparalleled angst.
I long to share it,
I want to hear you,
pull me closer now.

The chills in my spine
put into these words.
Lips on your skin.
Eyes brimmed with sin
Fingers slide over,
Lights fade out,
Loved you forever
say it out loud.

What is this sensation?
You drip colors I cannot perceive.
Heightening my passion,
enhancing my believes.
Dew drops vaporise
unhinged fly two beings,
Blending in this night sky.  

My tomorrow's mistakes,
will they break this cage.
Expressions of lust,
Consumed this way.
Hollow mortals,
Filled with divine flames.

Too consumed
In the colour of flesh
You do not fear it
I can hear the rush.
Mesmerizing aesthesia ,
now i hear them often.
Our souls combust
to this timeless dust.

©__payn

Broken contact, what can you
say about it, do you have to
talk about missing it?

Having lost someone
who is still there, but never with you
not as it could have been

Having our own lives, you
because you decided so
and I because it is that way

If it wasn't so
we would feel
what we don't feel now

mutuality, togetherness
a sideshow though, yes
we let life flow

It can go around obstacles
it does not need any comment
and no afterword

when you left
I searched every object in my room
because maybe one of them
still contains your smell.

My innermost has been missing me,
I must get back to it,
Lately, I've been a half moon, see,
a half moon and that's it.

There's a clumsiness beneath my cerebral cortex,
A hazy and haphazard thought,
My cranuim is marrying the confused with the complex,
And so my thinking amounts to nought.

Where am I in my deafening debris?
I'm not entirely lost,
Just feeling far away from lucidity and me,
But my innermost will cover the cost.

the silence between us
deafens me
yet even in the darkness
all i know
is that there is a beating
behind these weary bones
singing just for you.

I miss breathing the same air you did
I miss happily kissing your cheeks
I miss your head on my chest and your kiss on my lips
I miss cuddling you and sleeping like a baby
I miss the way you smell when I hug you
I miss kissing the tender skin on your neck and your
changing breathe on my face
I miss your loving hands on my face
I miss kissing your soft ears
I miss kissing your sweet lips and biting them slowly
I miss hearing you sing a beautiful song
I miss dancing with you
I miss your witty jokes

sitting in my bathtub
lights dimmed low
in my hand a glass of wine
what if the water is my undoing?

it’s one of those days
on which I cannot grasp the concept
of a world without you
it’s one of those days
on which I realize
that my life has been separated
into two seasons -
warm summer nights with you
cold winter days alone.

I put my head under water
the wine glass still in my hand
trying to hold my breath a little longer than my lungs allow
imagining that I could become the water
imagining I could pour my body on the floor

And yet, my body wouldn't float
so I pour the wine into the water instead
it becomes red
and I realize
that wine
under water
will not float
but dissolve.