I talked with Don Quixote today.
It was a fruitful discussion.
So fruitful that it made my mind go haywire.
*
At last
I began to think
That the limit of insanity is not in the mind
But in the will.

In the darkest of nights ,
In the prettiest of hells ,
I have nurtured myself,
Then what is it that stops me, now??
To my horrors ,I realise,
Non but myself is the culprit this time!!
What you do when you're trapped
in your own mind ????
and ,
I am actually trapped this time !!
I thought I am strong
Coz I fought the entire world for my beliefs
But what i do ,
If my beliefs start shaking
I've been feeling this earthquake recently,
  So what you do when you feel ,
  this earthquake in you ?
  I've been weighing each pro and con
  But I feel it entraps me evermore ..
  So what to do ??
  Maybe having a new belief system,
  Might help me
  But then what about my previous beliefs?
  Could all these belief systems ,
  go together I wonder ?
  I think they can
  So I'll  let you know
  What it feels to have,
  multiple belief systems altogether
  But for know I'll go
  Find another belief system for me

No! Let him go!

Scratch at the cage. Scratch and scratch. Away. Got to get away. Dig out. Dig out.

Theyre coming. Sit and hide and wait. Sit and wait and hide. There is no where to hide. No where to go. Need freedom.

Theres nothing you can do that i have not already done to myself. There is nothing you can do that i have not already done to my self. There is nothing you can do. There is nothing you can do.

Away! GET AWAY. its just me. It has to be just me. Just take me. Its me. ME!

There, there. There, there. Its okay. Im here. Im here. Its me. Im me.

****.

Im sorry. Im so sorry. Please let him out. Let him out.

There's a rattlin' in me
Gettin' louder now
What used t'be mel-a-dee
Don't come out of me
Just a rattlin' sound
Just a sh-sh-shakin'

There's a rattlin' in me
Gettin' louder now
Keeps on bangin', won't stop clangin'
Never lettin' me sleep

Yeah, a rattlin' in me
Can't hear nothin', babe
All the way down.
Just a rattlin' sound
A rattlin' at the cage

In the back of my head i can hear them,
Tiny voices pulling me near them,
Asking me begging me to write these words.
The voices of dead poets all speaking to me at once
Telling me the words they were never able to speak.

Entrusting me with the words that remain unwritten and unknown.
Inside of me i can hear them growing louder and louder and behind each word the feeling, the passion that burned inside of them.

Like so many things in life the only way to silence them is to satisfy them.
So i desperately write until my hands begin to bleed.
Until tears run down my face and trickle onto the page.

When i run out of ink i will use my blood,
I will write and write until i cant anymore
then i will join them...
I will join the voices that once haunted me. I will become the voice that keeps YOU up at night.
I will become that voice that screams in the back of every writers mind.

I used to call them brave, the people who would misbehave
but it was destiny one day I would become like these kids
broken and alone, not feeling loved or happy

the bond between those youngsters was unbreakable
blood is thicker than water is what the old people say
but it in their case the water had won

some people call them tiger stripes
others choose words like battle wounds
you always called it beautiful
but for me it was a curse

something I could never stop
demons whispering in my ear

the devil loves pretending
he always seems to care

and for me that was enough.