The pain it burns
as hot as stars
Though we've healed
we hate our scars

The shame we feel
the dark regret
The ones we hurt
we can't forget

Hidden terrors
we relive
It's ourselves
we can't forgive

When monsters speak
for us instead
Most words are better
left unsaid

Although we're told
that life goes on
and night is darkest
before dawn

Still we hate
what we've become
alone and lost
cold and numb

It's waking up
without a name
It's wondering
who we became

The fall from grace
it's not so bad
it's this new place
that drives us mad

Is it I who cares and you who lives?
Should I numb myself and turn away?
Forcing to forget what we could be
But I am mad and you are free

Trauma

Blunt force trauma
a blow to my psyche from your hammer of hands who pounded into my mind making me fear your preconceived ideas of my undying faith to your never ever loving thoughts about my, then, innocence. so many times-

Time

How many times did I trust the snake who hung, from the oh sweet forbidden fruit who's aftertaste bit me every time?
Who's deep rooted poison made me a pile of decaying flash, leaving me with a smell that drew all vultures to my feet.

Vultures

Every ******* one swarmed my flesh, biting, marking me with their jagged teeth that covered the tip of every finger, that kept the skin bloodied and bright red for identification.

ID

The ID of the body I see in the mirror, Jane Doe to myself, and target to the man who mangled my soul even more that it's vessel. Who's voice rattled my bones and hands cracked the chest casing under my already blue and pruple skin he kissed with his knuckles just-
Just enough.

Enough

Enough of me he became and the red of my skin was no longer his favorite and I longed for my red to change hue and I checked its tone when I dipped into the rivers beneath my skin and all I did was make myself a prisoner to the body I painted different ****** shades to make him want me.

But my red turned fall and I was no longer a color he could see, but a place he had never been and my characteristics were as mysterious as the reasons I thought I deserved red.

Red

Blunt Force Trauma

I've been sleeping with the lights on,
cause the darkness is surrounding you,
this is my world this is my choice and your the drug that gets me through I've been waiting for it outside cause i built this bed for two i'm just hanging on your right side i built this bed for me and you can't you see that i am yours so will you be my life support....your my life support..your my life support. sick of waking up in darkness when the sky is always painted blue there's a method to my madness  its clear that you don't have a clue...

I don't know.
I'm sad
and I'm mad
about being so sad.
Because I know life isn't so bad,
and I'm trying to add
more of the happiness I've previously had
and I'm so dang glad
I mean, I can see the blessings I have.
But no matter how bad
I want to not be sad
or how hard I try...
I still sit here with tears in my eyes
and I'll tell you "I'm fine."
And you know it's a lie;
I'm holding on for dear life.
I am tired
and the fire
in my eyes?
Along with my cloudy heart,
and the cloudy skies;
those flames
are dimming
going out with the city lights
in the middle of the night
Like if I just hide
and take some time
to get things right
The despair will somehow
dissapear from my mind.
Maybe if I try
being kind
to myself
...and my heart and my mind
I will be fine
sometime.

Make me laugh, and I will laugh with you
Make me cry, and I will tear you
Do me a favor, and I will be a savior
Take rest of mine, and I will devastate your mind

Do your thing, and I will let you in peace
Don't let me do a thing, and I will strip you in piece
Be my batman, and I will be your robin
Poker my life, and I will be your joker

Sprinkle on me, and I will shower at you
Through dirt at me, and I will spit on thou
Be my friend, and I will watch your back
Hold a knife, and I will kick your ***


|AB|

The pimple faced gernment representative told me
I had to hold my pollinated dreams until
next season.

And in my school house dream
matthew told me his dream
nothing less than Sustainable Planet

And as I started to argue, I realized,
my mouth was full of seasoned nuts
full of warehoused food,

because I could not attend
lunch, at this newly packed cafeteria;
I was on a mission to... I forget now
but in my dream it was **** important!

Now that I'm awake, trying to write a poem
that captures the meaning
all I can tell you, as you read my heart
is that no one can tell you when to start
caring about your dreams.

Get on your moral high ground and shout out to the world
"I'm MAD as HELL and I'm NOT gonna TAKE it ANYMORE!"

And unless you get knocked off your high horse
and unless you find your voice dry, horse,  
don't stop yelling until others join you--
because they will join you. We all want freedom
We all want the dream, but will we fight for it
to make it happen? Would you fight for love,
For life?? Would you fight for survival?

This is it, its this or oblivion, its sustain our childish
fever of consumption,
level out our infantile pride or
rest quietly into forever.

They say sustainability is what were after
but what we really mean is sanity;
they say rational policy is what were after
but really what we mean is enlightenment.

I'm asking you to change the wheel of your mind
and your asking me to hold my order until the window!
Can I have fries with that?
Make it a KING sized!
**** your frizzy fries, and your listless orders,
I want none of them, give me liberty or give me DEATH!