The moment you walk in my heart becomes weak. The lights down low. We begin to start off real slow. A gentle whimper followed by a kiss. A wondering thought. An endless bliss. You lay under the same sheets I myself lay. At first I ran, but now I stay. Your hand wonders up my hips. You softly invade my lips.  The once cold room is now scorching. The blankets are kicked off. There's no more forcing. Our bare skin touches. Our lips lock, Yours; Oh so Luscious. The pure child I once was now ruined. Lust fills my eyes, suddenly everything is real; disillusion. Your warmth is my everything, my first, my last, my forever fling. The ice that once froze me is now melted. The mark you leave on me now welted. Once I have finished you're still wanting more. Exhausted I am I show you the door. Until you kiss my lips again, you lead me back for more. Insatiable is what I envision never satisfied not even for a minute, never more.

My faith disappeared like a thief in the night.
I tried to hold on but I have no more fight.
I want to believe that ill be alright,
But I'm stuck behind this broken red light.

I haven't cried so my tears aren't recorded,
But that doesn't mean in not broken hearted.

I know things could be worse,
But Im no competition with others to see who got it worse.
My heart truly breaks for anyone going through hard times.
But the pain I feel the most is mines.

I haven't cried so my tears aren't recorded,
But that doesn't mean in not broken hearted.

There is no way to tell how Im feeling without sound like Im complaining.
But the amount out rejections I acumilate is draining.
I might as well change my name to reject.
Because everything I touch isn't correct.

10:00 A.M.
Battery: 100%

12:00 P.M.
Battery: 80%

2:00 P.M.
Battery: 67%

4:00 P.M.
Battery: 45%

6:00 P.M.
Battery: 30%

8:00 P.M.
Battery: 10%

10:00 P.M.
Battery: 0%

10:03 P.M.
Notification: You have one unread message:
from Andrea

"i love you ♥"

10:03 P.M.
...
Battery: 100%

I feel like I'm suffocating.
I can't get enough air.
Every inch of my body aches.
I say I'm coming down with a cold,
But I already know that's not what it is.
I know this feeling too well.
Depression.
I feel like a plastic bag has been put over my head and I can't get it off.
I feel like I'm stuck in a pit of quicksand.
Like I've been covered in honey.
Like a weight has been placed on my chest.
I sleep and I'm still tired.
The highs are too high and the lows are too low.

and whether you want to hear it or not-
time eventually runs out.

and I know it's hard to accept
and I know death is
often times
petrifying
and it's okay to
be afraid
of what you do not know
because
I too
have no clue
as to what
awaits me on the
other side.

All I know is-

there is one.

After all this suffering.
After all this grief.
After all the highs to
low's and
the dramatic
in-betweens-

there is more to this life
than simply being here.

And a part of me would like to believe
that what we do here;
matters.

And even if it's a tiny gesture
or a massive shift in
humanity-

we all play our part.

We are all tiny messages
in fragile glass bottles
that we are too scared
to break out of.

Life is unpredictable
and we-
foolish and naive-
take our opportunities
for expression
for granted.

It is senseless to keep
anything back.

It is asinine
to believe
anything
less than
transparency
will bring us

freedom.

It won't.

Say what's on your mind
before it's too late.

And don't be one of those people
that say they

can't.

I watch the numbers
I worry about the numbers
I don't think I'm good enough if I don't see the numbers
Low numbers- I'm crying
Big numbers- I'm smiling
I'm not good enough
Not good enough
Not good..
enough.

I need a friend
Or a helping hand
Someone to lead me
To feed me
Otherwise this addiction will soon take control