my hands reach for the strings
but i have butterfingers, and i hesitate too much
another missed chance, another lost opportunity

i wanted to tell you first
the confession was sitting on my tongue
but it burned down my cowardly throat instead

every time, the acceptance settles in my heart
heavy, like a small weight on my chest
at least i can carry my regrets without anyone seeing

go ahead, keep the lights shining on me
as i dance with someone who deserves better
who should have received a whole world

but if you look closely, all i had to offer was an arm to hold
and a smile for the pictures when we needed to pose
for my whole world was already in someone else's arms

the first time we met
you were daisies.

fragile
thin
soft
sweet

laughing in rain

running in wildflowers

resting there too

...then you were gone.

the next time
you were roses.

robust
sturdy
reserved
beautiful

running from the world

playing broken pianos

living in empty castles

...then you were gone.

the third time
you were violets.

delicate
cheerful
royal

drinking bitter petal tea

watching stars

dressing in diamonds

...then you were gone.

a fourth
a fifth
a sixth

i find you again
again
again

it's all different
every time.

but you never remember.

not me.

not until your last moments.

...and so it repeats.

eternally

i rewind my watch so many times
grasping the leather for a touch of magic
to bring back all that we once had

the lights illuminate the night sky
and i watch from the carnival ride
reminded of the last time we had stood here

as tonight goes down in flames
i cannot help but hope this is how we die
young and dumb and unafraid

the two of us are both in someone else's arms
separated by a sea and a telephone wire
you would have told me to be brave

i know that we were young and naïve
and our promises were vague
but i assure you, when i said

"i will love you until the end of time"
i spoke with my whole heart
dangling on a line