Today, I saw the sunrise.

Yes, I was up all night.

But it wasn't as sweet as it used to be.

I was up all night, suffering from insomnia, in tear puddles caused by your memories.

As the sun kept rising I hugged the teddy you gave me, for my eighteenth birthday, a little tighter, wishing it was you.

then soon I shall be forty



           is it then
              when
I shall begin to live?

I just want to be on the cliff at Tintagel
Looking to the castle, & Merlin's cave.
Or Bigbury beach, on the sea tractor.
Or hanging off a rock at Peak District
Or hanging off a tree in Holborough

Maybe further afield than England,
Coffee with her at Montmartre
Or hiking in the regions of Inca
And bathing in coves of Costa Rica
Or climbing pyramids of Cancun

A list of things to do once lockdown ends

The incomplete dark
of a suburban night
makes seeing the great beyond
hard

but patience, peace
and allowing the eyes to adjust
finally reveals a truth

firefly flicks burn
amongst the static majesty
of constellations
reassuring that all is
still in motion

from our frozen homes
we can gaze and hope
as surely as our kin
watched stars fall like rain

A lockdown of everything..

Of our arrogance
Of our mindlessness
Of our ignorance
Of our apathy
Of our cruelty
Of our carelessness

With the lockdown lifted..
Will we change for the better?

Better we do..!!!

I hear sounds,
But I’m not a part of it.
Does listening count?
I’ve gotten to know it all bit by bit.

I see shades of spring,
Breeze still chilled.
Just a bit of warmth
The sun can fulfill.

Work hasn’t stopped
For those who’re hustling.
Come hail, shine or Covid,
Keep going, little tummies are rumbling.

Lockdown lifts,
Isolation ends.
We think we know it all,
From what heaven sends.

Little pink petals
Peel away from the source.
Lands on another’s yard,
This is nature’s course.

We grew many years,
We learned to share, serve and save,
Where nature will take us,
Depends on how we now behave.

dusty streets lie calm and grey
the people have abandoned them
except for walks to the supermarket
savouring fresh gusts, the swirl of clouds
to return again home, air-soaked,
lunch and books in an armchair
full of past thoughts, future desires

morning dawns to steaming black coffee
evening glows like warm cheery wine
little pleasures by full windows
as conversation sparks in homes and phones
looking out longing, pining for sunshine
time, time is all there is now, long path
leading out to the rest of our lives

Our vows, ever clingy and embracing
In sickness and in health; in poverty and in wealth
My worn hand yearn for yours and its familiar veins
My lonely body yearn for yours and its true love
But we must endure, we must be apart, distant hearts
If we want to live another day and say the words to stay
Keep distant for now, so we can go home in embrace tomorrow
The blizzard will pass and all that's frozen be thawed in hope
The barrier will never last

My heart’s in lockdown and
I can’t break free,
I wish I could feel something,
Wish I could be me.

I feel like I’m running in circles,
Striving for emotion,
When all I feel is numb
And sick of my devotion

To the voices in my head
Who keep telling me to quit,
“Why not just give up now,
There’s no way to fix it!”

But I know there’s something there,
In the deepest part of me,
Something that still wants to learn,
Love and move and breathe.

So I will spend some time today,
And love that part of me,
And lock down all the saddened parts and
Start to break free.