I haven't been able to sleep lately because of you, and tonight like every night, I welcome my old friend Insomnia.
I tell Insomnia :
《 It has been months since the last time I talked to her, yet I keep seeing her everywhere I go.
My heart, my soul, my entire being long for her. But I can't allow myself to hurt her again.
Absolutely nothing in this world would make me happier than spending every second of the rest of my life by her side.
Watching her smile and hearing her voice. Falling asleep in her arms and waking up next to her each day.
She's my little sunshine, for real.
But for me, life is nothing but an endless circle of pain, and that is why I can't come back to her. I won't, not this time.
As much as I want to, and God I want to, I can't let myself ruin her again. My good intentions don't ease the emptiness I feel in my exhausted heart, and nothing could.
But the loneliness has become less unbearable since I've started living with it for her sake. I find solace in the thought that she won't ever have to go through my hell again. 》
And tonight like every night, Insomnia just sits there, watching me convince myself that I am indeed making the right choice. I wish Insomnia would go away, just for a moment. But Insomnia is just too good a friend, she never leaves...