There won't be another day
When I lie and say
That it don't matter to me
That you won't let it be

Crossing your heart
You did your own part
Promising devotion
A new, familiar start

It wasn't the first
Nor the second or third
But it counted as such
In my eyes, to my touch

It felt real, your affection
Your regrets and confession
My bleeding self took blame
Didn't give in to the flame

Guess it wasn't enough
Loving her and having me
Tempetation sure is rough
To tied hands who can't flee

Just meant to be myself
And mean something to you
But guess my body itself
Was more distracting than good

Figured my heart didn't deserve much
But icy nights in desertland
And for my soul to hush
Its complaints to strand

You promised
Tied the knot to my finger and yours
But if we're being honest
Your promises kinda blurred

Guess you weren't the promise-keeper
That you promised you would be
Guess you are a kind cheater
That just won't set me free

-
you relearn coming home

-

You find out how it tastes different
From when you were a little girl
(It’s far less rust tinged these days)

You name everything inside of you
anger or shame
So you never have to look to closely at the hurt
(It's mostly pretending you are something other than empty)

You relearn steady in chaos
you can still patch up
****** gaping holes with shaking hands
Lies leave your mouth faster
Than anyone has time to get the safety off

You relearn two faced
that one you never really let go of
it feels the same as it always did
Like a party trick you could never stop preforming
because it isn’t one
You know liar
The game is you are almost always
Telling a truth



-  What does learning to come home mean; why is it the first place you learn to run from

Looking up at the sky,
What do you see?
When one tells a lie,
How does one breathe?
A man who tends to be shy,
Opens up like a blade from sheath.
Please don’t tell him good-bye;
One more heartbreak may lead him to die.

When people say depression
What they imagine is someone forlorn
But you will never see me frown
They could never tell I am down

Am I good in acting?
Or is it on lying?
My smiles and responses are automatic
You can never tell I am a lunatic

Will someone discover
The truth down under
No time to discover
Till I am six feet under

Milady, are thy in need of a handkerchief?
Or an escort out while we take our leave?
I'll shield you from those who wish to harm
Why are thou feelings so shallow yet so warm?
Must remain my posture even though she makes my heart wild
Even wilder than the desires of Adam and Eve's Child

Oh Milady wait for me, I have an umbrella
Who am I? Oh i am just a mere uptown fella
What do i want? No i do not wish these haunting desires
Anyone who says i am that dishonorable are nothing but liars.
No Milady, please wait! i wish you for who you are
No Milady, Don't leave me now after you have left this scar...

Ink
blots
impossible
knots
testing the limits of
a circular drive
one hand on the wheel
the other copping a feel
of his passenger mate
dutifully nursing her neonate
foot goes down
to apply the break
fracturing fingers
is what it will take
to lessen
the voice
avoid
the slade
move
the mountain
tell me, don't floaters
eventually get flushed?

so badly I wish to be poetic
I drink my tea in the moonlight
take evening strolls in the rain

I bring a tattered notepad with me
to the café
to the museums
I choose my words so carefully

But I'm sitting alone,
at three in the morning
writing this "poem"

and I don't feel poetic at all