What has happened to me,
to my social skills?
Frantic, and panicked,
are not conditionally ideal.

I want you to like me,
I want you to see.
To see through my awkwardness,
and help set me free.

I do talk too much,
my mouth won’t shut up.
It’s like the relay in my brain,
is broken, or corrupt.

I’m not usually like this,
I hear my mouth say.
Constantly apologizing,
and then you’ve gone away.

I want to explain,
the jumbled mess of my head.
But I don’t know how to do it,
without making it worse instead.

No I’m not weird,
I’ve just been alone.
Social skills need exercise,
and mine are skin and bones.

When you walk away,
another part of me dies.
Part of me wants to explain,
and part of me wants to cry.

Im turning into two people,
the oddball and the norm.
When they try to coexist,
it creates the perfect storm.

So no, I don’t blame you,
for walking away.
Just know that I’m sorry,
for being this way.

When you are around
my happiness goes like a spaceship going to heaven on light speed

Without you
I feel like crap
dying
miserable

I used to be as the sun
always shinning
Now I'm the moon
hidding my feelings and waiting for you

Would I still see a girl who is tired of constantly being misgendered?
Would I see a girl trying too hard at looking good?
Would I see a girl not trying hard enough?
Would I see a poor excuse of a partner?
A girl who cannot possibly love someone else because she cannot find love in herself?
Would I see a girl whose self hatred seeps through her body with every aching breath?

Or

Would I see a person whose gender identity is respected and valid?
Would I see a person who always looks good without any effort?
Would I see the best partner I could be?
Would I make you happier than you've ever been?
Even if I cannot love myself, would I still be able to shower you with all the love in the world?
Would I see a person whose confidence can light up a room?

I crave the thought of switching places for a day.
Not just because I no longer wish to be myself, but because I need to know if I am good for you.

A force desired by many, acquired by some.
A drug so powerful it makes a mind numb.
A lack of it makes a man sore,
A myriad of it makes a man seek more.

I hate it when people try to help you,
When you don't need or want it.

But as soon as you need help,
They turn their back on you and find excuses,
In order to not help you.

Lacking emotion, i express through the words
These words so soundful, who echoe from the tunnels
Once inside, never come out on the other hole
Letters marked, throughout my nerves, as part of my body
A body filled with pain, shared with plenty
Rises from the ground, not coming out of the sky
If words could be changed, why didn't people change with them?
Probably because were humans, and we all make mistakes.