The scent of green grass
After a summer pouring rain day
The smell of wet sand and a wooden path to the beach
Chocolate cake with a m&m’s rainbow
(Also one in the sky)
The ice cream with my happy smile
Riding my little bycicle on my little city
But feeling so big
My mom’s hug and my dad’s joy
Gathering together around the dinner table
Stars above us, even brighter than usual
How i miss something i once had

I am tired of feeling that my dreams are hidden somewhere so far from me and my soul is too demaged to seek for it

How long are you gonna fake your emotions
Careless
You are a stone
When your coldness hit me I am gonna freeze
How dark you are
You touched me with warm hands and left me without breathing

You are a killer

We don’t even know what time is. Why are we alive. What is after life. If there is an end. Even so we spend our day locked in school, doing shopping and reading gossip magazines. I don’t know what is the purpose of life. I just know that being alive on a sick world is ******* exhausted.

What if I die
What if we all die
The world would be better without all the misery of the human spirit
All the fake words spit out of heartless mouths would be barred with our not anything more than carbon body
Daily dealing with existence is a pain in the ***
So much that I often think about purposing a global suicide pact
At noon we would all jump from buildings, bridges and cliffs
Cut our throat and hang ourselves
So beautiful
Our blood would make life grow
And there wouldn’t be a single soul to destroy it after

When the anxiety hits my deepest bones I’m breathless on my bed. Incredible how physical and emotional mix up on the moments we most wish it to be severally apart. The pressure on my chest, comprimes my lungs, like hands chocking me. I repeat to myself all the smart quotes we have been told our entirely lives, “things are gonna be ok, someday”. Someday seems so far and the way feels so lonely. I want to disappear as much as I wanted to be hugged right now. A soft and warm hug to remind me that there is some reason to be alive for.

So i wanna die. I want to do it now, and i dont want it to be painful. Im crying cause i didnt wanna say goodbye to you. You are the only good thing that ever happened to me. Im sitting on my bed wondering how sharped a knife has to be to penetrate my chest and take my pain away. I dont have any more pill or i would throw it all inside of me and pray for it to work. The tears are painful and im feeling the pressure on my lungs. Claiming for death. I hope that in the middle of the night, with the silence from the streets, I will be brave enough to finish it.