Knowing your flaws confused my heart
so I only wrote about the things I liked about you.
And when words on a page are screaming good parts,
you forget the bad, and become a fool.

Knowing you had good qualities made my head throb
so I only wrote the things I hated about you.
And when thinking about how hard you made me sob,
I forgot the good, and rewrote what I knew.

Knowing the truth makes my body hurt
so I only write my versions of the people I know.
And when my poems read as if the roles were reversed,
I forget what really happened, as if the truth was always faux.

I think that
there's a version
of me that you love,
the version
that sleeps soundly at night,
that never doubts,
you love this perfect person,
an idea.
you love the version
of me, that doesn't exist,
and I don't
know how to tell you.

I was doing okay when I was alone...
Before you...
I was happy, healthy, vibrant, and strong...
You know it's true...
.... Then you came along...
There wasn't an instant connection...
It wasn't "Love at first sight..."
I got a text saying that you wanted my number...
After seeing how **** you were - I text back, "Yeeeaaah riiiiiight!!!"

But it was true...

I thought I knew you
but I've been floating on the surface.
If what I've seen's true,
I'll dive headfirst to your place.
My messy aims
released me to a vaccum in nowhere.
I struck home, felt nothing,
touched everything since you're there.
I thought 'twas over,
but you're always somewhere.
I don't really know you,
wish I did, I want reasons to be there.
So give me reasons to be there.
I'll listen to the things that you'll share.
You don't need to feel mundane
because whatever it is, I'll care.
Small achievements or nightmares,
complaining that life's unfair,
let me be close to you
and let's turn things around.
Just you and me,
we'll leap off the ground and
stay in the air.

There was a cloud in the sky.
I looked up and it was a heart.
It beat with the wind and took its time to grow.

You sleep in me. Silent in your dreams.
We dream together of journeys through waters and coffees and stars.
The curve of your nose is like half of a heart.

My nose isn't the right shape.

But you dream on. Oblivious and aware.
I say the words and they echo.
The vibrations fall as I do.
And you catch me. I am light enough.
To fall like a devil into the arms of an angel.

We look back down and into each other's eyes.
The cloud is no longer there.

We've been down this road before.
Each time it hurts a little more.
I really don't know what you want from me.
When we are doing good, WHY won't you let it be?
I know that you love me, don't say that you don't.
We say we can find better, but we both know that we won't.
Cause the connection we've shared.. and you know we still do...
We were a match made in Heaven, Hell, and Earth, too..
What we have in common outweighs our differences by a ton...
There's examples I can say, but showing you'd be more fun..
Like our saying, "If you know what I mean..."
Face-down, biting pillows, so I wouldn't scream.
You can not say I never tried to surprise you...
With outfits, gifts, whatever you wanted - I'd buy you...
Who's out there putting in more effort to be with you than me?
If someone else is - fine, as long as you're happy....
But just let me know, though, tell me the truth.
Don't drag me along. Don't leave me waiting for you...
Come out and say it, if you know you're not coming back.
After all we've been through, you should at least give me that...
Cause just as ready as I am to keep up the fight..
I'm just as ready for the final good bye...
So think about it long, and think about it hard...
Next time we talk - tell me.. if we're the "has been" or "are..."

Understand and know me
not just by reading
the summary and the prologue.
Read all the chapters
until the last period
where I bared my heart.