It’s like a lightning storm during the night
How it blinds you and makes the night seem darker

Like an abyss

And when she rumbles
You can feel the vibrations
Before she deafens you

It’s such a destructive force
That when she finally hits
She tears everything apart

Whether she means to or not

And when she hits you
She burns you deep into your core
Rooting its way into everything

Everything you are
Everything you’re not
Everything you wish you could be

Its an ocean, stormy and dark. Waves crashing over me, the current drowning me.
Its the worlds weight on my shoulders getting heavier and heavier, till I finally collapse.
Its rocks being thrown, each one hitting my face, making a new cut to bleed.
Its water thats drying my throat, making it scratchy and weak, making me unable to speak.
Its a dying light, the wind blowing it out, while 2 other mouths blow at it to.
Its a mountain I have to climb, that no one knows I have to, its a secret, will you keep it?

it has been dark out for an hour
and nothing's been done

list is too long for the marijuana
so there is too much to do
because not enough has been done
not even close

hello again yesterday,
hello over and over again
yesterday

i am locked sometime  back in highschool
outside the one hundred building
walking to the next class

those faces passing by every school day
of that life
in all the same faces
there are two faces
black turtleneck boy smiling at me through his long bangs
i ignored, never made eye contact
or wondered

no john hughes action there

other guy calling out
something about me or the guy i was with
and what freaks  we were

i responded by spitting in his face
it surprised him
which surprised me

walking away
taking all the wrong steps

i look for signs
in all the cardboard signs
never find them
keep my money

keep the windows open
keep cold hands
keep my lighter busy
devil dancing all the way behind me

not a pretty picture
by day, a five year old child
who needs to be told what to do

if they hadn't have cut out my tongue
old boy, I'd really have a lot to say
about the guy in the purple bandanna,
hadn't seen him in months, but he re-emerged
recently,
he is still short, his hair is still curly
he still carries himself importantly

looking so ridiculous to me
it's been mean out lately

a woman is yelling at him
he calls her a ****
she keeps right on yelling
she really has a lot to say

she keeps on walking away in both directions
and she keeps on coming back

she is not going to shut the **** up

I've been choking on the fumes of violets
Intoxicating voices, soft and sweet
I feel every ounce of it inviting
It won't be long before its everything

I don't want to be the one to bring me down
But I'm forgetting how to breath

I don't know if you're even here
But, can you hear me...

I'm walking on the gentle roses
Blinded by my own second sight
Questioning if any body knows it
Each footstep leaving not a sound

I don't want to see you cry
But I've been suffocating

And I don't know if you still hear
But if you hear me...

This was a misstep of my mind
Please, give me something real
Instead of the flowers I've tried to find
If you hear me

I know I've said too much ****
And yes, I must seem sure
But I think its come time to admit
I need something more

Can you hear me

it's all over
you told me the truth,
you said the words
that i think i always knew.
it's all over with you.

you
will get
nothing but
suffering in
this universe here

my
eyes see
what you see
and it isn't
very pretty, mate

i
see tens
of thousands
of birds chirping
to protect themselves

but
you see
it too, yes,
you see no use
in preventing this

why?
because
see, my friend
eventually
things always turn dark

tick, tock. tick, tock.

hmm. I want pizza.

tick, tock. tick, tock.

I think I'm going to draw today. Yes, I'll do this.

tick, tock. tick, tock.

oh no

tick,

wait

tock.

i suddenly remember

tick,

i suddenly remember that life has no meaning

tock.

i suddenly remember that we're micro-microscopic

tickk,

microscopic in this universe,

toock.

this universe we know nothing about, and, oh,

tttick,

oh, i'm losing sight of who i am and where i am and why anything in this world matters and oh

ti-tock.

i dont know why my hands are shaking when i dont have a reason to shake them i dont know why i ask myself these questions when i dont have a reason to ask them i dont know why i write this when i dont have a reason to write them and i

tick?

dont know why i try when i dont have a reason to try and i dont know why i dont try when theres every reason to try but is there really and

t...tock.

what is a reason but something i myself conjure up out of little things do these little things really matter what is the quest for life other than a quest to release more happiness chemicals in our brains holding us away from the drug and

t-t-t-t-t-t-tick!

why do i live when theres no reason to live but why should i die when theres no reason to die and why do i lie to myself on a regular basis when theres no reason to hide myself from the truth but is

tatock

it really the truth or is it a lie ive lied to myself so long i cant remember because the only person who believes my lies

tick

is myself

tock

oh. the pizza is done!

tick, tock. tick, tock.

that's nice.

tick, tock. tick, tock.

i might make pizza again sometime

tick, tock. tick, tock.