The feeling sings pleasent discourse between the lengths of my young ribs
Swelling and rising like the tides of the fear I had long forgotten since the blunders my youth
The need
The want
The longing to not be left lonely again.
And I'm spiraling in the wave of the aftermath of your touch
Running scared in the ivory forest hidden under layers of skin in the base of my chest
Screaming with the choirs of my blood that this will not do
This is never enough
This is all that rings out in the cathedral in me
As all I am lifts my hands to the light
And falls to the floor in fear and wonder at the weight of it all
The breath in your being
The swing in your step
All illuminates the war in me
The fight in my own body
Between instinct and reason
Between love and lust
Within this bag of blood there is no trust
And though my wings are clipped I will still fight to fly from this
From this inner turmoil over your teeth
I wanted them and I needed them but now I can barely see
Externally stable but internally battling a boiling sea:
This fear of you and this fear of me.
The feeling wages on.

Just run, don't fight
Sprint into the cold of night
Muscles pumping, no frostbite
Out the door and out of sight

Hands raised, on defence
Opponent has a death sentence
They swing wildly, stupid and reckless
Knuckles cracking, time to end this

An otherwise normal day.
Sitting on the bus, in the back,
People watching as usual.
Coffee drunk, a day to attack.
I wanted to see what happened
So, I worked up a huge yawn.
The yawn went around the bus.
Once all did it, the yawn was gone.
I did it often, totally on purpose.
Just a thing I do to amuse us.

I saw in a movie a man stopped
Carefully looked up into the sky
It stopped the foot traffic that day
They looked up too, I had to try.
I stood on the corner the next day
Down on Twelfth and Main Street.
Firmly I stood in the madding crowd.
I looked up, and they did as well,
And things quickly got quite loud.
It was amazing how quickly it swelled.

The yawn thing works on the job
If you want to give it your own try.
It works on desk mates, bosses
And even on people passing by.
The looking up thing also works
But bosses come and get strong
And stop your foolish game by
Saying that you should move along.
They don’t know what you’re doing.
They just know it has to be wrong.

A bubble appears
Small and smooth
Symmetrical
Transparent
Hued in pink and blue
Harmless
Our instinct is to pop
Amused by its bursting
Why?
It will explode as it lands softly to the ground.
Why not let it be?
Admire it's beauty
Floating in purity.
Clear and delicate
A free spirit
Until it hits the ground
Pop!
It vanishes

© Jl 2016

we watch each other,
with strangely animal eyes,
circling, waiting tense,

a muscle twitches,
he bares his fangs, viciously
he moves, I match

we circle in sync,
preparing for a death dance,
ready to tear flesh,

it vibrates on my skin,
a tension so palpable,
my heart nearly stops,

I think I want.

I think I want sunlight.
I do want sunlight.

I think I want sunlight more than you.
I need it.

I fight for light every day.
It's in my nature.
I can't explain it.
I need all of it or I will die.

I do not have words
to explain.
I don't want to explain.
All I want is light.
And when it comes to light, I will fight.
Stay out of my light.
The fight for light gives and takes life.

Yet, I am alive because I fight.
I hate my neighbor
because she wants my light,
but I cannot move to another spot.
So, I climb, here, towards the light above
not knowing why or how.

I will die in the fight for light
because light is all that I live for.