now see, once again I write to you
the sun wasn't shining and the sky wasn't blue...

I met you on the route and feel you shrug
carelessly I handshake where I had to hug...

and walked beside you till you were fine
and all this time, the happiness was all mine...

and the next I did was to sit where you sit
what do you know, intentionally I came close a bit...

and all I did was to sit beside you and think
with you in my head, only about you without a blink...

the day passed and the evening yearn
from all that happened I wish I could learn...

that life isn't always what you desire
it leaves you lost in flames of fire...

you see your day and see it through
knowing what I am writing is all so true...

you ignore the meaning of all of this
thinking I am being childish...

but it is you who wished that way
I’ll grow a ten years late, that’s what you'd say...

I’ve tried to ignore I’ve tried to forget
but all I see is the first time we met...

I don't know why this happened to me
may be its a dream, so pinch me and see...

then when I said, the difference in imagination and reality
you wished I make it real, do what was right in all its vanity...

and I put my arms around you and feel
you made it so easy I needed not to kneel...

you picked me fine and we ended up holding hands
the warmth I felt was beyond all stands...

you rubbed them for me thinking it were numb
I was so happy and I knew you'd do so if I kept dumb...

the journey neared its end in a closing chapter
I wasn't ready leaving you and now I wonder...

all I want is for you to reflect on
whether I lie or is this for fun...

hopefully you will find the answer in no
that for me this isn't a show...

I never will forget the moments we had
after leaving you I really was sad...
@manauwer

you told me I
reminded you
of a poem.
A meaningful
yet incomplete
one. And I
Said, "it's only
true because I
love yo-"

I believe to feel misunderstood is to feel crazy.
it's like your sitting here and your realizing that nobody will ever understand your brain and the way that you think

Then you realize that you've come to this conclusion due to the fact that you don't even understand your own self

anxiety comes in and poors a million little black ants all of your body and you start shaking

Angst takes over you
I am not okay
I am crazy
Mentally I'll
I need help
What the **** is wrong with me
I am so filled with nothing it's like I'm not even a person anymore
I miss feeling alive
I don't even know if there's any blood following through my veins
I don't even know if I care
Just something please make me feel
I'm desperate
I'm petrified of the this feeling that boils inside of me and ceases to evaporate
Make it go away
Pain? Were are you I need you
Come back!
You made me feel alive.
Happiness? Do you even exist?
Were you even real? I need you
Come back!
Depression
Leave I don't want you
Hopelessness
Leave u make me natious
Anxiety
Your killing me and eating me alive
Your ruining me
Please let me free from you
I don't want to smoke anymore
Let me go
Angst
I don't know why I feel you or why you've come but i dont want you
You make me feel
incomplete
unfulfilled

I need something that will make me feel like if I'm still a person
Otherwise for all I know I'm dead and dreaming

I am a jigsaw puzzle…
Packaged, broken down and oddly pieced.
Vivid colors. A curious captivation.
Although… with time they have faded…and creased.

Handed down like an antique quilt.
Fragile and warn, only portions of my picture complete.
Left wondering if I will ever be seen as one.
Admired as whole, even with corners somewhat oblique.

So I set out on a journey:
Re-genesis of the soul.
Craving colors unimagined:
An apocalypse of the world of dull.

Along the way I caught a glimpse.
I unearthed Utopia.
A world lent only to dreams and fairytales.
Yet I couldn’t seem to give in and face this phobia.

I continued along my search.
This time with a new groove in my step.
Part of me wanted to turn back,
But that could’ve meant loosing the little I had left.

I felt something flowering within.
I may have looked away, but that moment a seed was planted.
Roots of strength embedding themselves into my soul,
A new chance at life finally granted.

Fresh oxygen to inhale,
As this life grows inside of me.
Battling with worry and yet no panic at all.
Something so charming and enormous, the world deserves to see.

Branches of love breaking through my surface,
A bungee cord tugs, than allots some slack.
Leaves of unwritten memories begin to evolve.
This budding life needs nurture…I need to turn back.

Before I can set foot to turn around…
Utopia at my fingertips.
Life, nurture…a wonderland unsought.
And that is all before the meeting of our lips.

Finite space within the palms
Of two celestial halves
They brought their hands together and cursed our eyes, and mouths, and hearts
Imaged us in self-belief
Perfection in the unity
Of lesser mortals, incomplete, forever searching for the second piece

She paced the gaps
Spun and leapt
A half circle
Slipping through the cracks
An arc entwined
The empty divide
Too short to reach
His side

Incomplete in death as in life

He tied a tongue around
To make a noose of himself
So when the noise finally died down he’d found himself within a crowd
Laughed the loudest at the end
With no breath at all
Attention at the precipice, from misfit hearts. A lifetime gone

trembling hands
they are trying to let you go
but you keep ending up here
still you remain

promised that you'd stay
i wish you wouldn't keep your word
you tried to leave, i know
still you remain

idly i searched for you with you