why do I hurt myself?
Because no one should insult me,
about my imperfections,
But me.
So this is my way of giving them the third degree,
on my flesh.

I grasped the thought of caressing your flaws in the moon light once more.

Running my index finger down your left cheek bone that was slightly farther out than your right.

Glancing into your left eye which was a tad bit less blue, due to being injured in a fight with a drunk college lad over me.

Rolling my thumb over your lips that were still purple and plump from our needy kisses.

All of these imperfections made me fall even harder for you with every breathe you took, even after being away from you for six sober months.

Roads taken are not always perfectly laid out.
Some do not have markers.
Intersections do not indicate the direction with most promise.
When we are faced with obstacles
Smooth out the imperfections.
The hard work comes from solely our own determination.
Understand when we should cut and turn back
When to press on.
We may stumble, we may fall.
A little bit of perseverance
and faith to reach some destinations.
I have found that, once reached,
the journey was worth its sweat.
Earned by grit, guts, and purposefulness.
Satisfaction of will.

She feels her frailties
Gnawing at one another
Believing that's the escape
From the somber vessel in which they've been trapped
The vessel that constantly strives to set them ablaze
Yearning to free herself
Of these blemishes that keep coming back to haunt her
As if they never really left -
As if they've always just been watching -
From under the bed
Or through the window
Tormenting her with their eyes
That seem darker than the hollows around hers

I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment
so dim witted
I’m sorry I can’t recall every minor detail
so oblivious to the world
I’m sorry I can no longer carry a tune
like when I was a child
I’m sorry I never lived up to your standards
so high I could not even glimpse them
I’m sorry I failed to be your perfect princess
too small and frail
I’m sorry I was never the musician she was
so awkwardly sitting
clumsily manipulating the strings
I’m sorry I never excelled the way she did
so distracted and unwilling
I’m sorry I never followed your laws
to many to count on my fingers
struggling to be free
I’m sorry I did the things I did
ashamed of who I was and confined
I’m sorry I made you cry
so depressed, my insecurities being repeated back at me
as if I didn’t say it to myself every time I looked into the treacherous mirror
I’m sorry I’d rather lose my self in poetry than your games
so confused and lost in this world
I’m sorry I can’t even keep my friends happy
anxiously shy and afraid to disappoint
I’m sorry about who I am
so wild and untamed like fire
I’m sorry I never turned out slightly like you wanted
banging against the windows begging to be free
I’m sorry your interests never drew me in
always alone with my thoughts and buried in a book
and I’m sorry for everything that I am and everything I’m yet to be
I hate to disappoint but there’s nothing I can do
I’m sorry my soul body mind and blood are riddled with imperfections
every breath toxic and infectious
I don’t mean to infect
I am a walking disease so please don’t come too close
I never meant to infect
just let me be in peace and I swear you won’t catch my disease
my toxic poison will never touch your lips
I’m sorry my imperfections have marred your skin
I don’t mean to seek your destruction
but it seems I have no control in who catches my slow disease

I'm your mirror.
I reflect what you want to see.
But it's never really me.

I'm your mirror.
There are smudges and dirt.
Little imperfections you don't like, which hurts.

I'm your mirror.
See whatever you want to see.
But when I break, you're the one who bleeds.

Love has no conditions
We make our own traditions
This isn't our first edition
Love has no conditions

We fix each other along the way
What gives you the power to say
What is right or wrong in any way
If love has no conditions

Tear me down, wrip me apart  
Condition, condition, condition
Am I not enough
Are you calling my bluff

Do you not see the same me
Standing here before you
Begging you, asking you
For you to accept me as I am

Are you settling with being content
When you strive to be elated
Maybe our love has faded
I didn't know I was being graded

If love has no conditions
How dare you not accept me
If we were sand and sea
Id see how you wrestle me

I never wanted to fight with you
I only wanted to be with you
This was our time to shine
If love had no conditions

I can't blame you, slay you, betray you
I want all of you unconditionally
I find myself adjusting to you
As we dance this rhythm of love

Love is just a game
The players tend to say
Ive never felt so played
Who am I today

If love has no conditions
Pigs began to fly
If love has no conditions
This is the day I will cry

I want to be a place you call 'home'

Do you know what's the meaning of 'home' itself?
Home is a place you always keep coming back, no matter how far you could go
Home is a place you always gonna miss, no matter how messy it could get
with its imperfections
with its messiness

And I don't want to be a five-starred hotel-or a mall, for you
with its perfections
with its glamorous
with its beauty
But you can always leave them, anytime you want
Because it's just a place you passed by,
just a place you enjoy, you look at,
for short periods of time,
then you leave it behind

I want to be a home, for you
with my own imperfections,
with my own messiness,
Because I want you to keep coming back to me, no matter how far you could go
And you'll always gonna miss me,
because I'm your home.

Looking in the mirror
faults shine,
imperfections, bold
the ugly rips through the skin

So we brush on the gorgeous
the ****, the beautiful
everything we want
hiding what we are

N. Hedges