You made delicate
The inner parts of my body
You knit me together
Inside my mothers womb
Yet I’ve felt something
Not quite right
For quite some time.
I’ve read that chapter
Over and over and over
It’s just never hit me this hard:
Even though I feel my heart
Not beating the way it should
You’ve let me realize
It doesn’t matter what they find
What they conclude
Or what they prescribe;
There’s no where I can go
To escape your spirit
Not to the heavens
Nor to the grave-
But when there is a God like you
Why would I even consider?
It’s been a rough few months for me being in the hospital and all. But I know that God will be my fortress and my stretngth. And no matter what happens, everything will be okay.
i turn to You for refuge
and i trust You'll ease my pain
but please, ease his first
he's much more worthy
back when i had a rough time with coming to terms with my past.
i used to hide my feelings
i didn't want others to know
the pain and sorrow
that's carved into my skin.
though as time went by
it became too much
to simply cover up
and i began
to let it show through.
then i realized
no one notices anyway
for the only reason that
they're in their own little world
by their ideals and desires
and too busy to look beyond
of their life.
i understand now.
you're just uncomfortable.
you never left that convenient bubble
your parents allowed you to form.
you were never really ready to have kids.
you weren't ready to take care of us
because you never grew up yourself.
we finally have a mind of our own
and you don't know how to react to it.
back then, you were never even ready for a relationship.
you were selfish for love
but never matured enough to take it on.
you really haven't matured since.
now because of it
your wife is suffering, feeling like she doesn't matter to you.
she cries mid-day because she can't keep you under control.
your kids feel like they're the parent-
picking up the trash you and your dogs leave behind
becoming exhausted trying to teach you what's right from wrong.
not understanding why daddy always ignores them,
never an "i love you" said,
not hugging them before they go to bed.
your parents don't have any respect left for you.
they aren't willing to help you out anymore
and they make that quite clear.
it's no wonder why there isn't anyone who wants to spend time with you- you never want to spend time with anyone outside of your online game.
all you do is complain.
you're just so uncomfortable with the thought of your children growing up, finding love, getting married and having children of their own.
and if it makes you so uncomfortable to see them now, just wait until they're your age doing ten times better than you've ever dreamed.
you won't know how to react to any of it because you never became comfortable with the way life works.
if you couldn't figure out how to grow up then,
how will you grow up now?
the sad part is
your big boy shoes don't have any growing room left.
i should be glad you're not an alcoholic or a druggie.
a smoker or a *****.
but i guess addiction is addiction
and it hurts just as bad.
it's a little heavy, but i know i'm not alone. and for those of you in a similar situation, i understand. you're not alone either.
silhouettes and shadows
were ever over me
until your voice spoke into
and through the dark.
now strength and courage
flow from your breath
and into my lungs
to help me walk
this walk of life
and into the arms
of my beloved.
though my body aches
my heart is free
from the sorrow and grief
and now I rejoice
for the love you give
is given harmoniously
and the world has been
and forever will be
and when things look bleak, do not rely on your own understanding, but trust in the One who created.
I love the rain
Not really sure why
It’s only water falling from the sky
And I often feel stress free
Listening to how it sounds
It pounds on the windows
And splat on the ground
Thuds on the roof
Nothing can escape it
Everything is within its reach
You can’t hide, you’ll get wet eventually
I love how everything scatters
Trying to get out of its way
No birds flapping or animals scurrying around
I like watching others react to it
Some people run
Some skip, some jog
Others hop over puddles like they’re logs
And some avoid it at all cost by hiding in cars
I love the rain
And if I could
I’d watch it all day