I told you so.

It doesn't really feel good to be right. Everything is *******. I haven't told anybody, but I have a feeling some people will know very soon.

This is killing me. It's Killing ME.

I'm going.
Help me **** it!

I don't want this.
I want a way out.
I want to go home.

But home isn't there anymore.
Home is not here.

And it won't be. Not anytime soon. Maybe not ever.
So I stopped trying to fight the brokenness. Not when I already shattered across the floor.

Every day feels like a public hanging. Accusations and no defence from me. I'm not okay.

So I will not return until I'm better. When that is, I have no idea. It could just never end. I could break and rage out, calling the hypocrisy and justification of how unfair this is.

Don't I deserve to be seen at all?

But if I'm not here, then who really gives a ****?

Fine. I'll let you live your life free of my destruction on your happiness. Because after all, I bring the drama right? And I can't escape it right? Confining me to my mistakes and nothing else.

Because hey, I never meant a **** thing to you anyway. But I won't snap just to prove you right. I'll just hope to regret sets in like it is for me.

Because I never gave up on you.
Fact.
No exceptions.

Regressive are the faded receipts of
what I handed to myself...

They owe me an emotional coin flip,
Heads I'm
                  lingering in happy reflections..

Tales I'm just imaginary,
                                           And I'm fading...

Where would this end?
Wish they'd listened
Peace please descend
Would if I'm terminated

One hell,
Trapped in debts
Believe me, I'm trustworthy

Two hell,
It's too much pressure
You lost the trust in me

Im counting,
This mount is precipice
I couldn't lean upon a tree

Both ends heating up strokes
On fire, life is under a volcano
Let me burst the way out
And melt down into a rock

There's a shadow on a ceiling
I don't dare to look that way
Is this real? Am I dreaming?
Not having any sleep again

There's a human shape in corner
I don't dare to watch that spot
I'm afraid, it might deform it
I'm frightened, it might not

I feel a hand touching my shoulder
I don't dare believe it's true
From head to toe, I'm getting colder
The rabbit-hole, I'm coming through

I look around like a spaceman
So scared to look, but have to know
If you are here, I beg you, face me
The earth is circling down below

And now I see you, real and clear
Though in this world you don't exist
I dare you to keep coming here
I have no power to resist

And as all outlines are blurred
Other shapes come into view
Once again I've been transferred
To this cryptic world of You

I recognize all the surroundings
Your room, I've been so many times
Why was I so afraid of finding
What mind of rational denies

The truth, just as beauty, is in the eyes of beholder
My eyes are finally closing, as I lean on your shoulder...

When I was at the age thirteen
I had an imaginary friend
First I thought it was a dream
Some kind of three D hologram

But soon I knew, it was too real
I didn't panic, wasn't scared
My lonely soul was an appeal
To someone who would lead and care

My life was then a battlefield
In outer world and in my brain
So he became that needed shield
To be my rock and keep me sane

We didn't play, we didn't talk
A flash of wonder in his eyes
He looked bemused as if it all
To him was also a surprise

But he stayed always calm and cool
Watching from behind my back
Some good happenings, some cruel
The sun of child's heart doused in black

He wrapped me in a coat of strength
Of energy, I was deprived
I know he was my own mind's wraith
But, god my witness, so alive...

A few years later he was gone
All memories of him were fogged
By that time I was very strong
So I put all "strange" under lock
(That's what he would've done...)

Until one day the seal was broken
And piece by piece, it has come out
One tiny single door flew open
One hidden door that's never shut

A glimpse of hope, a seed of doubt
A horrifying revelation
I wouldn't dare to say out loud
But was it my imagination?...

In our little game,
            It’s never the same.

            Because with every try,
            Came a new lie.
            
            In our imaginary world,
            We gave our word.
        
            The same,
            Goes for the game,
            That played with our minds,
            Twas Forgotten, left Behind.

            Though we survived,
            Our imaginary world,
            Withered and died,
            Without our word.