I’m glad to be home
But home doesn’t like me.
While I was gone
Home didn’t wait for me.

Some treat me like a criminal
And some are calling me traitor
For doing my patriotic duty
And following my legal orders.
If had done otherwise there
I would have been in prison.
I don’t know what this is about
Or from where it has risen.

I’m glad to be home
But home doesn’t like me.
While I was gone
Home didn’t wait for me.

Do people now go to work
And decide what they will do?
And if they want to do nothing
They loaf around? Is that true?
I know they do in Congress now
But has it taken the trickle down
And now following orders is
Above the average working clown?

I’m glad to be home
But home doesn’t like me.
While I was gone
Home didn’t wait for me.

During our tour of duty, we all heard
Some Americans had complained,
Thought we ought to not be there,
Hated us because we remained.
They lost control of our peacetime
Right here on our own home base.
Yet they wanted us to stop the war
No matter that we would be replaced.

I’m glad to be home
But home doesn’t like me.
While I was gone
Home didn’t wait for me.

I saw forties newsreels of ticker tape
Falling on huge marching parades
Celebrating our fighting military
And the sacrifices they had made.
Back home now many neighbors
Curse at me and look at me as scary
Instead of a recently returning hero
From their own country’s military.

I’m glad to be home
But home doesn’t like me.
While I was gone
Home didn’t wait for me.

And Congress voted down help
For those of us who are wounded.
The V.A. used to take care of us
Before the ‘One Percent’ fine-tuned it.
Now many of my brothers and sisters
Who did their duty suffer defeat
At the hands of their own country
And lay dying in our city streets.

I’m glad to be home
But home doesn’t like me.
While I was gone
Home didn’t wait for me.

I was trying to build sand castles but you
went to the shore to invite the waves.
Colonies of sugar rest on my tongue.
Your hands were all over your ears when I tried to open my mouth.
Your tightened lips made my eyes a home for rivers.
You looked away and it all turned bitter.

The universe is taking it's own course
And I am infinitesimally too small to resist it.
The force of gravity is crashing on my shoulders,
Pulling me down, dropping me off to the same ground where you stand.
In the sky, the stars are writing our story
But you are too busy trying to unlock a different door.

You are not supposed to put boulders on a road that could last forever.
You are not supposed to abandon the steering wheel when a smooth sail is all that the wind has to offer.

hey i was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend? it's been such a long time since i last saw you and you know, i was thinking, maybe we could talk and stuff again, like we used to? so, i really hope that maybe you could step out to hang out, yeah? but if you can't now, it's totally fine by me! just tell me when you're free, 'kay?
- Sent, 9:35 PM, Tuesday, Aug. 5, 2014

yo you never answered my message! are you okay? are you sick? please, tell me if you can't come any time this month, i don't really mind! please, just talk to me?
- Sent, 12:48 AM, Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2014

did i make you mad?
- Sent, 5:40 AM, Saturday, Oct. 11, 2014

please talk to me
- Sent, 11:11 PM, Monday, Oct. 20, 2014

do you just hate me???? is that it???? at least tell me straight to my face!!!!
- Sent, 6:40 AM, Thursday, Dec. 11, 2014

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FULL OF ****, YOU CAN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SEE THAT I'M TRYING HERE. I AM TRYING FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE SO ******* MUCH ABOUT YOU. I WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE SO ******* MUCH ABOUT YOU. BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA TREAT ME LIKE THIS, I DON'T THINK I DESERVE THIS!!!!!
- Sent, 9:13 PM, Friday, Dec. 26, 2014

YOU KNOW WHAT???? *******.
- Sent, 9:13 PM, Friday, Dec. 26, 2014

Y UOY  NE EVR  C A R WSD W HJEETHR OR ON T IW AS THEJRFE FOF ROYU ZND **** GO AE HED ADSN ENJYO YOURF CUKIGN  CHR RIST MAS VCNASITON ALOENE
- Sent, 1:45 AM, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2014

L NOER
- Sent, 1:56 AM, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2014

i just saw your mom at the grocery store a while ago. and what she said surprised and upset me a lot.
- Sent, 11:40 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

why didn't you talk to me?! you know i always said i was there for you... why didn't you talk to me about anything?! i would have stopped you!
- Sent, 11:47 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

i'm so sorry i'm so sorry im so sorry im so sorry im so rty ims oert im so sory ims or t r yim osrr y
- Sent, 11:55 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

i'm so sorry, i wasn't a better friend for you. i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry. forgive me.
- Sent, 12:05 AM, Thursday, Jan. 01, 2015

hey
- Sent, 12:45 AM, Friday, Jan. 23, 2015

happy birthday*
- Sent, 12:45 AM, Friday, Jan. 23, 2015

You say I'm rude because I don't say hi
I don't remind you that I tried
I waved and smiled and called your name
Each time you ignored me all the same
It's all right though, I don't really mind
At least I know that I tried

My heart is a plaything
On a length of tattered string,
Batted at by paws
With unrestrained claws.

A water drop fallen down
to vast dark pools to drown

A dead brown leaf staying put
crumpled smashed underfoot

No wind to carry you away
stagnant broken here you'll stay

Blending in your world surrounds
passing by in leaps and bounds

Quivering shaking trembling not
overlooking your trivial lot

Blues so vibrant reds so pure
crying bleeding heart so sore

soul refusing brittle tempering
broken omitted needs remembering

tiny teardrop fallen down
vast dark oceans made to drown

There is an unwriteable in my life,
An unspeakable in my mouth,
An undreamable in my sleep.
Such a hurt,
That I cannot even skirt
Around it, hint at what
The unpermitted is.
A blank space in my head
Once remembered,
Now consumed.
As a doe absorbs her kittens,
I unlearn myself,
Unwritten from existence,
And unspoken evermore.