I been hurt
I been torn
I  see the darkness without the sun
My heart is kind
I hope and love
The ideas of today lost on forgotten  world of the past
I fallen on this path look up for love
My heart will keep going
I can't  give up
I have change myself with a mind so  complex
I need remove cancer out of my life

Does hate stay entwined in the back of your mind?
Is one of a kind love permanently etched in time?
Could death be the end of an idea
Even if it's never born?
Is life given from the inside
Before it's given the chance to form?

Some things can never end,
All things in life deserve the chance to breathe.
An idea, a feeling, even the things you never see.

There's a sick and twisted saying that I've heard all too many times: time is limited. Time has no limit. Time exists in its own entitlement. It always has been and always will be. It has given birth and it has taken life. Time plays by no moral code. It does not judge what is has done like we do. It simply precedes on the path it sees fit. We have to coexist with time. We have to learn how to understand time and it't awful sense of mortality. Because that's all we are, right? We are a bunch of animals floating ominously through millions of years of space with an unknown amount of time.
Our time is far from limited. No animal is woken from birth with a clock counting down to his final moments; instead, we are just fed the idea that we will someday die and wither away. We have no idea when and where it will happen, or even why. All we have is the guarantee of death. The guarantee of the unknown.
What can we do to stop time and its awful habits? Nothing. We have to sit and watch it play its deadly hand on all of us. Its fingers intertwining with our own. Its disturbing face, smiling at what you can and never will know. Time is a god. Time is the creator of life and the destroyer of life. Time is success. Time is failure. Time is love. Time is heartbreak. Time is.

I Just feel a lot.
I told you I would write about it.
So here it is.
I am me.
And I have been hurt.
So I know what it feels like
to be someone's second choice.
but you will never be my second choice.
And I believe you.
When you say you don't believe me.
But I will do what I can
to ease the idea that someone else
is in my thoughts.
because it's just an idea.
And I don't know what I am saying
half of the time
but the other half
I am constantly.
trying to come up with a line
that will ease your mind.
like I **** up,
but I mean what I say.
Even on my drunkest day.
But you are always my first thought.
Like getting over the worst,
was just a thought.
because I can handle the worst.
I don't hope for the best,
I prepare for it.
Because my head,
doesn't allow me to feel,
Things that make me happy.
So when I fell like my heart will explode
I run.
Into myself,
Because me.
What ever I am,
Will be there.
And that's hard to explain.
So when I wish I had something better to say,
I will just tell you the truth.
How my heart was abandoned.
How I long to be felt.
How my heart feels so much,
It makes the grand canyon
Feel ashamed to be felt.
My heart melts.
Yes, My heart melts.
And i don't how to say it anymore.
Because I thought I could say it.
But when it comes to you,
I'm not joking.
Like the butterflies
were surprised
when you said " This is good."
It was like a breathe of fresh air,
That I could finally breath.
When you said,
This is good.

This is good.

I fell in love with the possibility of us
I fell not for your charming imperfections
I fell not for your 60s voice
I fell for what we could have been

She was the dream;
               that nightmares come from.
               An angel without wings,
               even her sins were welcome.
              
This woman is invincible.
               Thin waistline and beauty- full.
               Dress hugging her thighs; irresistible.
      
Some just break your heart.
                She tore my whole world apart,
                the more I try and forget her,
                the more I want her; more.
                            Broke my heart; by her principle.
                            Addicted to her love, like never before --

You left me --
feeling empty;
filled with anger
a death potion.
mixed with emotion;
pain: not immune
fused with confusion
chasing sorrows;
only found illusions --
answers mystify; left me amused
not solutions.
            weight off my shoulders  
             saved me from drowning
             dead-weight: boulders
              almost blew a fuse;
standing be side myself; guarded
trying to find right with left overs.
looking for excuses : making mistakes
trying to escape your excuses; cold shoulders
life is real - and words are weapons -- no do overs.
Saw the real you, now is over. learn the hard way.