you look in the mirror
and are weary
of the person you have become
knowing that they too, are weary of her
that they too, wish for the you of the past
because the you of the future
is nothing but hollowness
a graveyard of joy
a tomb of hope
a resting place for the light that will not return
you bid it goodbye
and it was happy to leave

Esther L. Krenzin

You have never felt my pain
It stings me like a bee
But the bee doesn't die


You have never felt my pain
You have never felt my sadness
And I have never felt any joy


You have never felt my pain
I want to jump off a cliff
So that it will end


Please, leave me alone
You are adding to that ball
Of sorrow


You have never felt my pain
That I
Will never be painless.

now i know that the closest thing to real love i’ve ever known
is the love i’ve given others—
i’ve been robbed
stripped, emptied out
yanked in every direction
while im crying out
“just let me love you, i want to love you
please just let me love you!”
heart in my hands while im on my knees crying out that i just want to love..
and be loved the way i love others
i’ve been played and toyed with
like im a souless human being
like i deserve the pain
as if the amount of love i give them isn’t the most intense, beautiful feeling my body has ever created—
now painful.
my heart has been ripped out of my chest
my heart...
they want to rob me
my beautiful treasure
but this robbery hurt the most
the most deceiving
the pain has never felt so unreal
so sickening....a raw pain
this confusion is overwhelming
this truth is excruciating
sick to my stomach, im disgusted
i want to wash it off
long, long showers
scrubbing the memories away
im bleeding
the pain is haunting me
the blood is him
i want the blood to stop
the puddle of red water, flooding me
stealing my peace in the shower
i fall apart
you did this to me...you lied to me
you hurt me, you uncovered a new type of pain in my body...
i’ve been robbed naked
left on the cold shower floor
sitting still, feeling lifeless.

-h.u

I love you and I used to could talk about it
But now it feels like manual labor
forming orders inside my mouth.
I want to say “when did it all come to be so hard?”
But it has always been this way, hasn’t it?
reasons Reasons REASONS
For bizarrely monogamous reasons
it has always been hard to talk about the way
I love you.
We were married and that was
reasons.
And then we were married but IN LOVE and that was
Reasons.
Then we were divorcing and HURTING and that was
REASONS.
And now we are friends and have all new
ReAsOnS

Another Life: Wick Part 3

You shown so brightly
The gods grew envious
Death fell in love with you

The darkest star
To ever shine

You were ready to just go home
In the dark
You screamed into the void

A voice full of hatred
You're time of fighting
Finally came to the bitter end

Your grave,
A monument,
A reminder
Of what is gone.

Turn back the time
Another life
Another love lost
To the darkness within

Into the dark
You were ready to go home..

God: Wick Part 2

Shatter the glass
To see the truth
God is in us
And I believe in you

(You were my anger)

It's a cycle
It's a vicious cycle
Let's break it...
Am I alive or just breathing?

A deep breath in
To remind us
To- let the dark in
To- let the light in

(You were my strength)

A deep breath in
To remind us
A smile you can't fake it
The love you can't push away

(You were my will)

A voice full of hatred
The bait was taken to destroy from within
A candle to light the way
You will always find a way back

(I'll see you in the next life)

These strains that bind us together
They shine like the palest silver
You always told me
God is in us
And I will always believe in you...

"I'm just tired."                                                          ­              Tired of trying, 
"I'm just tired."                                                          ­              Tired of crying.

"I'm just tired."                                                          ­             Tired of smiling,  
"I'm just tired."                                                          ­               Tired of dying.

"I'm fine, just tired."                                                        Tired of saying fine,
"I'm fine, just tired."                                      When I'm way beyond that line.

"I'm fine, just tired."                                              Tired of fighting my mind,
"I'm fine, just tired."                                             Tired of always being kind. 

"I'm ok."                                                             ­              Tired of the faking, 
"I'm ok."                                                             ­            Tired of the shaking.

"I'm ok."                                                             ­               Tired of forgiving,
"I'm not ok!"                                                             ­              Tired of living.