lace and distaste
affection and addiction
obsession and possession
the pain without gain
the rotting of the brain

the parents pride and prune and preen
you've finally turned 15

lack of sleep
little to eat
just take more medication
if that doesnt help, review it on yelp
and theyll say you just lacked dedication.

the adults find you fit to be seen
"you're not actually 15?"

the brain shutting down
systems start to drown
you're  not  in  the  best scene

welcome one
welcome all

another fool turning fifteen.

-Ajs

ive never understood why it happened
maybe i was misbehaving
maybe i was bad
maybe he just wanted to
to hurt me and make me sad

wheather it was my misbehavior
or his ***** second nature

i grew up mature
never a child
always an angel
never able to speak out

using my own words against myself

"i was too young to ask for that."

i never would have anyway.

-LJS

you used to promise id have to be the one to leave you
whyh do i still love you
why does it hurt so bad
when you gave me back my blankie it still smelled like you
i cried all night
i cut so many times
i bled for you
i did everything you asked.
i did everything
and you left for someone else
just like you did to him
he cries over us you know
i didnt tell anyone
god i wish we had stayed together
i love you
i love you so much still
and yet i was never enough
dont ever say 'i love you' if you dont mean it.

healed scars litter my trashed body. my skin a mural, a testament, to my battles. i used to do it to punish. now i do it to feel something, anything.

oh to continue to cut
deeper and deeper
until i am no longer human.
but bones.

humans are no more than their secrets.
cutting into them reveals how disgusting or beautiful they truly are

i am a horrible person

The world doesnt care that you exist
hide your pain and slit your wrists
cover the scars and let them bleed
black out at school filled with greed
get home cut deeper and dont let them see you cry
so pathetic
you dont get it
dont look me in my eyes

hurt yourself
your hurting others
but do you even care
stupid little sunshine
if i hurt you its only fair.